


Tossing Your Cookies

by acgaeile



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Be More Chill - Freeform, Be More Chill Musical - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Michael is doing the best he can, No SQUIP, Pining, Slow Burn, bmc, boyf riends - Freeform, meremy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-02-04 02:45:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12761478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acgaeile/pseuds/acgaeile
Summary: “What do you mean 'you threw up'?” Michael asked.Jeremy's eyes widened, “What do you think I mean, Michael?! I THREW UP!"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You should know before reading this that I don't have a set plot. I was just sitting here and got to thinking that Jeremy would totally be so nervous that he'd toss his cookies on his first date. I can tell you though that I promise angst, jealousy, pining, maybe some slow-burn goodness, and all the feels.
> 
> As per usual, I don't promise good writing and I self beta which means lots of mistakes that I end up overlooking and randomly fixing for the next two weeks.

“What do you mean 'you threw up'?” Michael asked.

Jeremy's eyes widened, “What do you think I mean, Michael?! I THREW UP!"

Jeremy’s face was pale and his blue eyes were watery. It was the first thing Michael noticed when he bolted through his bedroom door ten minutes ago. Michael used his hand to make a ‘go on’ motion making Jeremy narrow his eyes and huff.

Michael sighed, “Okay, you threw up… on her?“

Jeremy let out a strangled noise and sunk down on to Michael’s bed. Michael sat down beside him and rubbed circle's on to his best friend's back as he waited for Jeremy to continue.

“I mean, yes? I kind of did? Like a lot” Jeremy groaned bringing his hands up to cover his face and mumbled, “At least it landed mostly on her shoes." Michael struggled not to laugh. Leave it to Jeremy Heere to go on his first date and literally puke on her.

“… and then you just left?” Michael prompted.

“Was I supposed to stick around after I tossed my cookies on her? I fucking told you that sushi was bad, dude!”

Michael pulled his hand from Jeremy’s back to his lap, “The sushi was perfectly fine. I’ll have you know that I haven’t upchucked on one date today.” That earned him a half-assed chuckle and a swat to the arm. Jeremy put his head on Michael’s shoulder allowing Michael to lay an arm around his shoulders.

“What am I gonna do, Mikey?”

“You’re going to call her and apologize, for one.” Michael said “This is Christine Canigula we are talking about, Jere. You’ve only been pining over her since like, what? 7th grade? She’ll understand! You just need to call her or at the very least buy her new shoes.” Jeremy sighed sinking further in to Michael’s side. Michael felt the familiar warmth of having his best friend so close to him and promptly squashed it by shoving Jeremy off playfully and handing him the phone he'd abandoned on the bed beside them.

“What the hell, dude?”

“Call her right now, Jeremiah Heere, or I’ll do it for you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I definitely would. Need I remind you of the incident of 2014? You know the _one_. If I’m remembering correctly, you ended up skipping school for an entire week?” Michael tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Or was that a different Jeremy Heere?” He saw Jeremy gulp and rush to unlock his phone. Michael smirked, “That’s what I thought.”

He walked over to his dresser across the room to pull out an old shirt and shorts since Jere would most likely be crashing there. He walked back over and chucked the clothes at his best friend’s face earning him mouthed a ‘fuck you' as the phone rang.

“ _Hey Christine, um-_ “ Jeremy started.

Michael zoned out choosing to avoid those unwanted feeling-type things that listening to Jeremy talking to or about Christine gave him. Michael didn’t do wanting very well. You can want a slushee and drop by the Sev Elev to get it but you can’t want a relationship with your best friend and ask the dude at the counter to grab it from the back, you know? Michael had been scrolling lazily through a Tumblr when Jeremy finally started to wrap up his call.

“ _I feel really bad about it. I promise I’ll make it up to you._ ” Jeremy paused for a second and looked up to Michael with a hopeful look.

“ _I’ll remember to not eat sushi before our next one._ ” Jeremy giggled in to the phone. “ _Yeah, okay. See you then! Goodnight, Christine_.”

Jeremy ended the call and fell back on the bed with a contented sigh. Michael noticed the dreamy expression on his friend’s face and felt his stomach lurch. Nope. Not right now, feelings. It was almost 10pm and he did not have time to deal with his feelings and their bullshit.

“I’ll be back.” Michael got off the bed heading towards the bedroom door. Jeremy sat up and looked at him with an eyebrow raised. Michael gave a weak smile, nodding towards the door and holding up a finger. It was code for ‘hey, I'm going to take a piss, my dude’ that they developed when Jeremy went through a bashful phase when they were 9. He couldn’t vocalize his need to relieve himself and this the finger system came to be. Two fingers meant well, number two and three was ‘I just need a minute.’ It worked liked a well placed banana peel on Mario Kart and they haven't stopped. Jeremy gave a brief nod of understanding and flopped back on the bed.

When Michael got to the bathroom he put the toilet seat lid down and sat; the cold porcelain giving him goose bumps. He palmed his eyes trying to deal with the onslaught of unwanted emotion. This was getting to be too much. He needed to find a good how-to guide that’d help him get his shit together. The whole support Jeremy while silently suffering business was actually killing him. What kind of friend does that anyway? Harbor very un-platonic feelings for their best buddies? That’s all they’re supposed to be, friends. He's sure that all Jeremy wants them to be anyway but leave it to Michael to fuck that up with his stupid fucking feelings. What was it that the chick from Frozen said? Conceal, don't feel or whatever? Time to start taking some pointers from Disney because didn’t she like almost murder her own sister? Storing this shit away for a rainy day was going to blow up on him eventually. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had stayed in the bathroom wading in his pool of self-pity but Jeremy was softly snoring when he got back to the room. He’d changed in to the clothes Michael had tossed at him earlier and was sprawled out on the side of the bed closest to the wall. Michael cut the lights and snuck under the covers trying to not to wake him up. The dude did just got through an ordeal of vomiting on his crush and then calling to apologize. He deserved the rest.

He turned his head to look over at his friend of 12 years. He had to fight the urge to reach over and brush back the strand of Jeremy's hair that’d fallen in front of his closed eyes. Michael turned his head back and stared up at the ceiling instead. The rhythm of Jeremy's breaths were comforting and just as sleep was coming to take him, he whispered aloud what he'd never say to his best friend while he was conscious. “I love you, Jeremy.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-cookie tossing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I make a weird amount of Frozen references for someone who doesn't even really watch it? I don't know why I do these things?

Michael woke up to Jeremy’s stank ass puke breath right in his face. When he opened his eyes, Jeremy was laying on his side facing Michael with his mouth hanging wide open, their faces only a few inches apart. He blinked a few times trying to wake himself up and proceeded to pinch Jeremy’s nose closed. Jeremy shot up in an instant before glaring down at Michael.

“What the fuck, dude? You know I hate when you do that!” Jeremy said now running his hand through his messy, brown hair.

Michael chuckled tiredly, “Did you brush your teeth after heaving the contents of your stomach all over Miss Canigula last night?” In turn Jeremy smacked his mouth a few times.

“I guess that explains why it tastes like a dragon shit in my mouth last night.” Jeremy grimaced. 

“Nice deduction, Sherlock.” Michael said yawning. Jeremy scoffed and grabbed his pillow, smacking Michael in the face with it. Michael knocked the pillow away and stretched his arms to the side watching as Jeremy haphazardly made his was off the bed and over to  the door. A loud ping sounded from Jeremy’s phone a few minutes after Jeremy'd gone to the bathroom. Michael grabbed his glasses and shoved them on his face before letting his curiosity get the better of him and leaning over to look at the phone lying on the bedside table.

 

**New Message:**

**Christine Canigula (9:45am)** :

_Hey Jere! If you weren’t busy today, I was thinking we could get together and go over stuff we talked about yesterday! Just let me know, okay? :D_

 

Michael sighed and tossed the covers back. They usually spent their Sunday’s balls deep in Apocalypse of the Damned. Guess that wasn’t happening today. He picked up his own phone, which was unsurprisingly message free being as his only friend was in his bathroom currently brushing away the taste of bile. He tossed the phone on the bed and got up to chuck off the shirt he was wearing. Jeremy came back in to the room grinning just as he was riffling through his dresser. 

“Dude, your mom made those pancak-“ Jeremy said giddily before cutting himself off.

“She makes them literally every weekend that you’re over, my man.” Michael pulled on a white undershirt and turned around to find why Jeremy had stopped talking so suddenly a second ago. His eyes were comically wide while staring down at his phone.

“You okay, Jere?” Michael asked walking back over to where his best friend had apparently malfunctioned.

Jeremy’s clear blue eyes flicked back up to look at Michaels, “Oh. My. God. Christine texted! She wants to hang out today!” Michael plastered on a small, forced smile.

“That’s awesome, man!” Michael said but Jeremy’s focus had already returned to the phone where his fingers were currently gliding across the screen. A small knock came from the outside of his bedroom door along with a soft “knock, knock.” His mom’s head poked in, “Hey boys, breakfast is ready if you guys are hungry.” Michael nodded and went to say they’d be down in a minute but Jeremy beat him to the chase.

“Sorry, Mrs. M! I have to go! Any other Sunday you know I’d be all over those pancakes though!” Jeremy said kneeling down to tie the shoes he had begun putting on. Michael’s mom smiled opening the door more to lean against the frame, “ ‘course, Jeremy. Where are you off to this morning?” Jeremy’s face spread in to a wide smile. He grabbed his wallet and keys, shoving them in to his pockets.

“I have a study date at 10:30 with Christine!”

Michael’s mom laughed, “THE Christine?”

“The one and only, Mrs. M!” Jeremy grinned up at her and with a quick ‘later, dude’ to Michael and a kiss to Michael’s mom’s cheek he was gone. 

Michael's mom gaze shifted to Michael. She had that knowing look on her face, "You okay, sweetie?"

"Yeah. Fine." Michael brushed her off, "I'm going to pass on the breakfast though."

His mom sighed, "Alright, Michael. You know that your mom and I are here if you ever need to talk." She opened her arms up expectantly and Michael walked over, wrapped his own arms around her waist. He felt stinging in the corner of his eyes. Somehow just knowing that she knew what he was feeling made everything much more real. When he pulled back his mom placed a chaste kiss on his forehead and walked away.

 

* * *

  

In between rounds of snipping the heads off of locusts in Gears of War, he'd tried to convince himself that his feelings didn't exist. Because if they didn't exist then there'd be no feelings to acknowledge and thus no feelings to feel. Rational Michael knew he was full of shit but slightly heartbroken Michael thought the logic was pretty sound. Besides he'd do what he had to do because what did Disney know anyway? Just because some ice princess sucked at hiding her feelings didn't automatically mean he would. 

He didn’t hear anything else from Jeremy for the rest of the day; not that he was constantly checking his phone or anything. It's just that they talked frequently so radio silence was not the norm. He'd taken on a weird resolve though and decreed to no one in particular that the ball was in Jeremy's court. If he wanted to talk to Michael then he would. Plus it'd only been a day, he reminded himself. He needed to stop being dramatic. Jeremy had been his best friend for 12 years. It's not like he would just throw their friendship away over a girl. 

He pulled up at Jeremy’s house the next morning still resolved to not let anything bother him. Michael always gave him a ride to and from school since the Jeremy was petrified of the bus and the Heere's only had one car which Mr. Heere needed for work everyday. He sat in the driveway waiting. Usually Jeremy was already outside when Michael arrived. Today was different, of course, go figure. It wasn’t until 15 minutes later that he decided to call. This was their routine; he never really needed to call before because Jeremy would always just show up without fail. The only time he didn’t was when he’d let Michael know early enough that he wouldn’t be at school because he was sick or something.

He listened to the phone ringing for what felt like a century when finally Jeremy picked up.

“Hey Mikey!”

“Dude, where in the hell are you? I’ve been out here in front of your house for like 20 minutes!”

There was a pause and a slightly panicked intake of breath from the other end of the phone, “OHMYGOD. IAMSORRYMICHAEL! ICOMPLETELYFORGOTTOTELLYOUTHATCHRISTINEWASGIVINGMEARIDETOSCHOOLTODAY. IAMSOSORRY!” Jeremy basically screeched in to the phone.

“What? Say that again?”

“Christine gave me a ride to school. She asked yesterday and I said yes but I totally forgot to tell you! I’m so sorry, Michael!” He could almost picture Jeremy nipping at the skin on his bottom lip the way he tended to do whenever he got nervous or worried. How was Michael suppose to be upset? Clearly Jeremy felt bad about it and this was all happening because his best friend was finally getting a shot with the girl of his dreams. And didn't he just spend the past 24 hours talking himself in to not feeling and being supportive? Unfortunately for him though, knowing he shouldn’t be upset, pep-talk or not, and actually not being upset were two completely different things. All Michael could currently register were the words, “Christine”, “forgot, and “you.”

“It’s whatever, Jere.” Michael said and without waiting for an answer, he hung up.

The day that followed his shitty morning was equally, if not more, shitty. Jeremy was super apologetic when he first saw Michael. He had to finally tell him that he could buy Michael a slushie later to make up for it just to get him to chill out. Otherwise, Jeremy spent the day glued to Christine’s side whenever there was a minute the two of them could be together. Michael nodded along with a fake smile etched on to his face whenever they attempted to engage him in their conversation, which as it turned out, was not often. He was pretty sure they forgot he was there most of the time actually. By the time the final bell rang, Michael was completely done.

He didn’t wait for Jeremy after school that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you guys are liking this okay? I don't write many chaptered fics but I love my Boyfs so much that I'm giving it a go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> < / 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has gotten much more emotional than I had originally intended. Yikes.

Michael felt his phone buzzing in the front pocket of his hoodie but in lieu of answering it, he cut it off without looking at the screen. It was one of his mom’s or Jeremy and he wasn’t keen on speaking to any of them at the moment.

When he left school he went directly to his spot. It was a small clearing on an old back road beside an old park. He’d just gotten his license when he got lost and discovered it. Now it was where he came to get high when he needed space from everything.

In all 12 years of friendship they’d never had this issue. They disagreed sometimes, sure, but never had Jeremy forgotten him not matter how unintentional? What did that say about their friendship when one half of a pair could forget about the other so quickly? Michael lit the end of joint he’d just meticulously rolled and took a long drag, watching the smoke curl up from his mouth as he exhaled.

He knew he was being saltier than the seven seas but the whole turning off feelings thing was crashing and burning spectacularly. What was he suppose to do? He could get over it, for one. Just find some other dude to get caught up on. Easy peesy lemon squeezey, right? They couldn’t be inseparable forever anyway and it was stupid to think otherwise. It didn’t even matter that Michael had seen his future with Jeremy there. That he’d imagined which posters they’d hang in their shared dorm or anything. This was just the first step towards their inevitable parting of ways, the beginning of the end of their two-player game. 

He took another hit and put the joint out. Michael closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the headrest of his PT cruiser letting his exhaustion catch up with him.

 

* * *

 

He awoke to the pitter-patter of rain landing on his car. He rubbed eyes trying to adjust to the darkness around him. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. His mom’s were going to be irate. 

He wasted no time in cranking up his car and turning back on his phone. The time said 10:55pm which basically meant that he was ten kinds of fucked. A slew of text message alerts and missed calls popped up on the screen. He’d apparently missed exactly 28 calls and had a grand total of 45 text messages. Wonderful. He'd feel slightly popular is they weren't all from the same three people who were, in this case, all upset with him. He weighed his options. He could just showing up or he could soften the blow by calling first. He'd only pick the first when he had an actual death wish. 

The phone rang once when the voice of a very angry woman picked up and started yelling. 

“MICHAEL MELL! WHERE YOU ARE YOU? WHY AREN'T YOU PICKING UP YOUR PHONE? ARE YOU OKAY? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?

“Mom, I promise, I’m fine! I just fell asleep in my car at the park.” He said strategically leaving out the whole getting high part. 

“Even Jeremy probably called us a hundred times to see if you got home! You had us all worried sick, Michael!” His mom’s voice was laced with hurt and he felt the weight of guilt crushing down on him.

“I’m leaving right now, I swear! I’ll be home in like 15 minutes. Scouts honor!” 

“If you are not here in 15 minutes, you will not see anything but the four walls of your room for the next 30 years, Michael!”

“Okay, okay, I’m coming. I love you. Bye.” He hung the phone up and took a deep breath. The drive back went by in a blur. The pissing off of his two very temperamental parents had taken the front seat, which thankfully shoved Jeremy to the side for a minute. He sat through a 30-minute lecture in which he was told he was told all about the reasons cell phones exist. He ended up being grounded for a week. It was almost laughable because he had one friend and he never went anywhere. That's when they pulled out the big guns with the commandeering of his Xbox power cord. His mom's could give lessons in the the ruthlessness of parenting because boy oh boy did that one hit him where it hurt. 

When they finally released him to go to his now prison cell, he stripped down to his boxers and curled up in bed. He hadn’t had a chance to read through the texts yet but now that he was looking at the unread notifications, the whole reason he'd ended up at his spot came crashing back in like the kook-aid man. He tossed around the idea of reading them and shooting Jeremy an apology text but he couldn't because he wasn't a douche canoe like that. It was already almost midnight and Jeremy would most likely be awake anyway. He resigned himself to another bout of screaming and pressed the call button.

Jeremy picked up almost as quick as his mom had. Were there special classes for hyper speed phone answering? Did Michael miss the memo on this one? Most importantly, did ninja's teach the class? 

“WHAT THE FUCK, MICHAEL!? I WAITED FOR YOU AFTER SCHOOL! YOU DIDN’T ANSWER YOUR PHONE. EVEN YOUR MOM’S DIDN’T KNOW WHERE YOU WERE! YOU COULD BEEN EATEN BY A FUCKING BEAR OR SOMETHING, DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK?!” He was regretting telling Jeremy about the yearly average of people that got turned in to meals for the bear population that he'd learned from the Discovery Channel. Jeremy stopped to take a big breath and he waited for him to say something else but all he heard was a small whimper that sounded an awful lot like someone trying not to crying.  

“Look Jere, I’m sorry. I just needed-“ Michael paused not sure what to say. Did he just tell him how upset he was? That what he needed was space to figure out what in the hell was going on? How jealousy was eating him from the inside out like some parasitic bacteria? How much it hurt to be his second-choice? Abso-fucking-lutely not. “I didn’t mean to worry you guys, okay? I’ll be less of a dumb ass next time. Pinkie promise!” He heard sniffling from the other end of the phone before Jeremy replied, his voice almost a whisper.

“I kept thinking the worst, that you were dead in a ditch somewhere. I-I don’t know what I’d ever do without you, Mikey. You’re my favorite person, please don’t scare me like that ever again.” Jeremy sniffled again. And in that very moment, Michael knew what it felt like to have your heart break. It might have started cracking before but that was the final nail in the coffin because no matter how much he wanted that to be true, it wasn’t. He was a stand-in for what Christine was becoming. That’s what he’d always be.

“Okay, Jere, I won’t.” He managed to keep his voice neutral but the slight hitch on the end would have been noticeable to a less emotional Jeremy. “Are you riding with me to school tomorrow?”

“Um, no, um, it’s okay. Christine is going to pick me up again.”

“Alright. Well… goodnight, Jere.”

“Goodnight, Mikey.”

The line went quiet and the laugh that seemed to rip itself from him transformed in to full blown sobbing. A hypothetical wrecking ball had come smashing through the wall he’d been trying to build around his emotions and they flooded out by gallons. Heartbreak seemed to feel a lot like drowning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't very long but I made myself cry writing it. I can't tell if I'm just in a really crappy mental place or if what I wrote actually was super sad. Hmmmm.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rich makes an entrance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are three vastly different directions that I've contemplated taking this and I can't decide which yet. In the meantime, I can offer you the gift of a blooming Rich and Michael bromance piled on top of my angst sundae. 
> 
> I wrote this instead of doing any of my school work because I am the worst.

The weeks following what Michael had dubbed The Cookie Incident found him navigating the new dynamic that Jeremy dating Christine had given them. He hadn’t been Jeremy’s ride to school for a while other than once when Christine’s car was in the shop. He had ended up giving them both a ride to Christine’s house. It was great. He spent most of his newfound free time either stoned or convincing himself to not text Jeremy. He mostly succeeded.

If Jeremy noticed Michael pulling away, he hadn’t mentioned it.

It was Tuesday, a few weeks and some change post- Cookie Incident, when things started to change even more than they had already. He’d been ditched a lot by Jeremy lately but today was going to be different. They’d planned to go to the release of AOTD 2 together at midnight over two months ago. He’d swing by Jere’s house to pick him up, they’d wait in line at Gamestop, get their copies, stop by 7/11 for slushies, and pull an all-nighter holed up in Michael’s basement. It was the one thing he’d been counting on ever since Christine had inserted herself in to Jeremy’s life. He’d even decided a head of time that he was going to talk to Jeremy about his things, feelings, whatever too. Things were going to get better. He’d be with his best buddy. He’d explain what was up. Jeremy would be super understanding and just maybe Michael could find the closure he needed to finally let these non-platonic feelings go.

So when Jeremy spent all day at school avoiding him, he knew something was wrong. He tried to tell himself he was over exaggerating, that he was just seeing things but he knew deep down that he wasn’t. It was confirmed when he went to the lunchroom just to see a red-faced Jeremy rushing out of the room like he was trying not to be caught. The thought of following him was tempting but seeing Jeremy literally run away to avoid being near him hurt and he didn't want to add more to the wedge in their relationship already.

He abandoned the lunchroom and headed to the bathroom where he spent the next half hour trying not to get snot all over the sleeve of his hoodie. When the bell rang he wiped at his eyes frantically trying to make them look less like he'd just cried over his best friend for 30 minutes, if he could even still call him that. He tossed his uneaten sushi in the trash and managed to make it the rest of the day without seeing Jeremy. If Jeremy didn’t want him around then he wouldn’t be. Michael could avoid him too. 

He waited to see if Jeremy would text him about their plans but 5pm turned in to 10pm and he got nothing. Michael turned on his 'fuck it' mentality and went to the release anyway. The line was out the door and lucky for him, he ended up right behind Rich fucking Goranski. The same guy who had once shoved him in to a locker for ‘looking at him the wrong way.’ He pulled up his hood and whipped out his phone really quick to make it look like he didn’t notice who was directly in front of him, just in case. He pulled up his messages with Jeremy and typed up a few different things but nothing felt right so he deleted them all. A new messaged popped up as he was tapping out a lovely ‘go fuck yourself’ that he didn't even mean in the reply box.

 

**Jerebear (11:37pm):**

_Hey Mikey, I had some things come up and I’m so so sorry that I didn’t let you know sooner! It was a dick thing to do! Do you think you could maybe grab my pre-ordered copy if you decided to still go? I'd really really appreciate it!!!_

 

Michael couldn’t help the loud snort. He was rendered almost speechless. What did he do in a past lifetime to deserve the suffering that Jeremy was, hopefully unknowingly, putting him through? If this was on purpose... Well, best not to think like that. He stared long and hard at the ‘go fuck yourself’ before backspacing with a sigh.

 

**Michael (11:42pm):**

_No worries buddy. I’ll get it for you._

He didn’t say anthing else because everything else involved a lot of ‘I love yous’ and something about ‘you’re a selfish prick.’ Michael looked back up from his phone to see if the line had moved any only to come face to face with Rich who was currently staring at him intensely… way too intensely.

“Headphones, kid?” Rich asked tilting his head seeming as though he was genuinely curious.

“Uh... yeah?” Michael shoved his phone in to his hoodie pocket and wiped his now sweaty palms down the side of his pants.

“You play Apocalypse of the Damned?” Rich was looking at him like he was some kind of enigma. Like the idea that this loser could also have similar interests as him was more baffling than Mr. Reyes’ Hot Pocket addiction. Michael debated on just getting out of line, getting high, and moving to Florida but settled for replying instead.

“For sure, man!” Michael said trying to not to come off as freaked the fuck out as he currently was. 

Rich smirked and nodded his head; his arms crossed across his chest, “Sweet, bro. You wanna play after this?”

“Play? With you?” He repeated to be sure he understood this correctly.

“Yeah, man. JakeyD has to sleep or some shit and I’m not trying to murk some zombies bitches alone. You in?” His automatic reflex was to immediately say no but then again why? Jeremy was busy. Rich wasn’t actively trying to kick his ass. It'd actually been a while since he'd tried to that now that Michael really thought about it. Maybe this was Rich's way of not being an asshole anymore? What’d he have to lose anyway? This could still be some weird set up where he said yes and then ended up with his kidney cut out and being sold on the black market. But whatever, the idea wasn't nearly as off-putting as it should have been. 

“Um, yeah, sure. I’m down!” He did, however, spare a moment to contemplate if he’d entered in to an episode of the Twilight Zone when the line finally started moving. Rich talked to him about his favorite characters. He talked about his favorite boss battles. He talked strategy. It was strangely like talking with an actual friend. 

After retrieving their games, Rich, who apparently had walked there from his house, rode with Michael back to his. They stopped by Sev Elev where Rich spent 10 minutes explaining why blue raspberry was the worst flavor of slushie available. For the record, Michael disagreed. 

Things went exactly to plan except Rich was there instead of Jeremy. Rich turned out to be a super chill dude. He was down for getting high, he appreciated all the fine things that 7/11 had to offer, and he was actually an outstanding listener too. Michael found himself pouring out his inner most thoughts to the dude who he was sure he hated up until yesterday.

“I think you need to stop being a bitch and tell him.” Rich said nonchalantly as he decapitated the zombie on the screen.

“I wanted to tonight but it didn't work out. Plus, Jere's happy with her, I don't want to fuck it up for him, you know?” Michael said. Rich paused the game and turned to look at him. 

“I know I’ve treated you like human garbage so I can’t blame you for not taking my advice but dude’s got it bad for you. He might not know it but he does, trust me on this, bro.” Rich said it so confidently that Michael smiled a little. He couldn’t help but let a small microscopic part of him believe it. Rich punched him affectionally on the shoulder and turned back to the game. 

“Why do you think that? That Jeremy has a thing for me, I mean.”

“Because man, he's acting just like Jake did. It sucked ass when he dated Chloe, don’t get me wrong, because I felt exactly how you do now. Things looked bleak for the old Richster. When I couldn't take it anymore, I finally I just manned up and kissed him one day when him and Chloe were on one of their breaks. Now we’re just too dudes being bros that also have massively hot sex.” 

Michael choked on his spit and turned to look at Rich disbelievingly. “YOU’RE GAY?? AND DATING JAKE DILLINGER???”

“Bi, actually, and do you live under a rock? We’ve been together for like a month. Literally everyone knows, dude.” Rich smirked still looking at the screen and Michael shook his head because what? He really needed to pay more attention to things that didn’t start with a J and end with a Y.

“So… you didn’t treat me like shit because I’m gay?” Michael hesitantly asked.

“No? I guess I kinda did? I was having a tough time coming to terms with shit and you were an easy target. We’re cool now though, right?” Rich paused the game again and held up his fist, Michael smiled and bumped it with his. “Yeah, we’re cool, man.”

 

* * *

 

The sun was coming up when they finally both crashed. Skipping school wasn’t on the original agenda but they did it anyway. Turns out long heart to hearts and zombie slaying are exhausting activities. Michael’s moms left for work before Michael usually left for school and Rich’s dad didn’t give a shit according to him. They slept until noon when the buzzing of a phone woke them up. Michael grabbed around for his glasses and shoved them on his face. Rich had already gotten his phone and was typing something. The buzzing hadn't stopped which was when Michael finally realized it was his phone going off.

 

**INCOMING CALL – Jerebear**

 

Michael sighed and hit the accept button, “Hey, Jere.”

“You’re okay, right? Christine said you probably just stayed up all night and skipped school but I wanted to check. I was worried after last time… you know….” Jeremy’s voice trailed off.

“It’s all good, Jere! It was a late night. Apocalypse of the Damned 2 is bomb! There’s even have a bonus level where – “ Michael was interrupted by Rich, who had made his way back to the bean bags, yelling for him, “Yooo we got zombies to kill, Mike, lets goooooooooo!” Rich drug out the ‘go’ making Michael roll his eyes. 

“So like I was saying, the bonus level-“ Michael was cut off again but this time by Jeremy.

“Is there someone there with you?”

“Huh? Oh right, yeah, Rich. We met up at the release last night."

“Rich Goranski?” Jeremy said incredulously like Michael had just told him he was hanging out with the Pope.

“One in the same.”

“AND HE'S AT YOUR HOUSE?” Jeremy’s voice got squeaky as he all but yelled in to the phone. 

“Uh yeah?” Michael said lamely. 

“WHY? ARE YOU OKAY? TELL HIM TO LEAVE!”

“I'm fine! He’s been here all night, Jeremy. What in the hell are you so pissed about?”

“It’s Rich Goranski, Michael! He’s treated like shit forever, in case you forgot! Why are you even talking to him in the first place?” Jeremy was clearly angry and wasn't that just the straw that broke the camel's back. Yeah, his history Rich wasn’t great but things were getting better and, most importantly, he was actually here, right here with Michael where Jeremy was suppose to be. 

“You know what? No. You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to tell me what to do or who to hang out with. YOU FUCKING DITCHED ME LAST NIGHT, JEREMY! WE HAD THAT PLANNED FOR TWO GODDAMN MONTHS! YOU’VE BEEN DITCHING ME EVER SINCE YOU WENT ON THAT FUCKING DATE WITH CHRISTINE!”

“CHRISTINE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!”

“SHE HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THIS! YOU'VE HARDLY TALKED TO ME AT ALL SINCE YOU GUYS STARTED DATING!” Michael voice started to crack and he could feel the tears as they made their way down his cheeks. He made himself continue before he lost his nerve.

“You know what, Jeremy? You're doing you right now and that's great but I need some time. Just… leave me alone.” He hit the end button without waiting for a reply. Jeremy was likely at lunch and needed to get back to doing school orbwhatever the fuck with Christine anyway.

He tossed his phone on the bed and broke down. Rich had, at some point, walked over to him and knelt down beside him. He opened his arms,”bring it in, bro.” He tucked his head in to Rich's chest and cried. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rich is bad at drawing male appendages and Jeremy is sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter. I don't know if it's because I stress wrote it instead of doing literally any of my assignments due tomorrow or not but it may be the worst thing I've ever written??

Michael woke up to an empty room with a sticky note stuck to his forehead. Rich had apparently left his number before leaving scibbled next to a drawing of what he thinks might be some kind of abstract drawing of a dick. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and checked his phone for the time, it felt like he'd just slept for a century. His time checking quest was thwarted, however, by the flood of texts and calls from Jeremy that popped up as he unlocked his phone. 

**New Message:**

**Jerebear (12:50pm):**

_Can we talk about this? Please??_

**Jerebear(1:15pm):**

_Mikey?_

**Jerebear(1:17pm):**

_I'm trying to apologize! Please pick up, Mikey._

**Jerebear(1:18pm):**

_We can get over whatever just happened. I’m sorry I acted that way. You’re right. It’s not my place and I shouldn’t have said anything. Please. Just talk to me._

**Jerebear(1:20pm):**

_Michael!_

**Jerebear(1:25pm):**

_I know you’re getting these! I’m trying to say that I'm sorry! Please!_

**Jerebear(2:00pm):**  

_I get it and if you really don’t want to talk to me then that’s okay. I won’t make you. I just want you to know that you’re still my favorite person and I feel terrible. I’ll be here when you want to talk to me again._

**Jerebear(4:45pm):**

  _I know I said it was okay before but I can’t stand knowing you probably hate me and it sucks because I know you should. I didn't realize I was being so selfish. You deserve better. Sooooooo much better._

**Jerebear(5:05pm):**

_I just really want to say this all to you in person, Mikey. Please let me and then I’ll go forever if that’s what you want._

**Jerebear(5:23pm):**  

_Look, I know I don’t deserve another shot but I’m coming over._

Michael glanced up at the time on the top of the screen; it was already almost 5:45pm. With the flip of a switch, full panic mode had been turned on. What was he going to say? What was Jeremy going to say? They’d hash it out and Jeremy would leave disgusted because his best friend had a thing for him? ‘ _You literally just told him to leave you alone.'_ He reminded himself. It wasn’t what he wanted though, not at all. And he'd literally just read texts from Jeremy telling him he deserved better than this. So, maybe this wasn't the end. Jeremy would understand, right? 

He was brought abruptly from is inner monologue when heard the doorbell followed by slight murmuring coming from the direction of the front door. Michael took a few deeps breaths trying not to hyperventilate.

It hadn’t been more than a minute when a single knock sounded and the door swung open to reveal his best friend looking like straight hell. Michael noticed his eyes were bloodshot making the blue iris' look almost ethereal; there were also tear tracks covering his cherry red cheeks. He made himself swallow the urge to run over and engulf Jeremy, anything to make the pained expression on his best friend’s face go-away. That's about when he noticed the shuffling of another person coming up behind Jeremy. It was a girl in a bright yellow shirt with short, black hair peering over Jeremy’s shoulder – Christine. The previous desire to just let everything go and hold Jeremy close was extinguished the second he laid eyes on her. Did Jeremy hear anything he said on the phone earlier? He couldn’t even come to Michael’s house without his fucking girlfriend now? He felt his nostrils flair as the hot spike of anger flooded his veins.

“What is she doing here?” Michael asked through clamped teeth, his knuckles almost completely white from the tight balling of his fists.

“What?” Jeremy seemed to be taken back like he’d forgotten that she was there.

“Christine. What is she doing here?” he asked again jerkily nodding to where Christine was standing behind Jeremy.

“Oh, um, she gave me a ride over here.” Jeremy’s stared intently at the ground as his left hand was fiddling with the right rim of his blue cardigan.

“What is she doing in my room?” He asked, determined not to let this go. If Jeremy wanted to talk then they were going to fucking talk. He was going to talk and explain why he somehow couldn't grasp how fucked this situation was right now. 

Jeremy seemed to struggle to find something to say. Christine, who had stepped up beside Jeremy, looked back and forth between the two.

“I’ll wait outside, Jeremy.” She offered with a small smile and a light pat on Jeremy’s shoulder. She looked up at Michael with a unidentifiable expression and walked back out his bedroom door. 

Jeremy's gaze shifted back up, locking his eyes with Michael's. He could see the tense line of Jeremy's shoulders. The sadness so clearly on display in his best friend's eyes gave a hard tug on Michael’s heart. He cleared his throat and looked away, losing what was becoming quickly becoming an awkward staring contest.

“You wanted to talk, so talk.” Michael crossed his arms in front of his chest trying to appear more together than he actually felt. Jeremy’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and nervously shifted from foot to foot.

“Did you mean it?” Jeremy’s cast his eyes back to the floor, using one hand to pick at the skin around the thumb on his other.

“Did I mean what?” Michael asked flatly using a Herculean effort to keep his temper at bay. 

“That you… that you wanted me to leave you alone?” Jeremy’s quiet voice was tinged with hurt and it struck him hard. Suddenly it was like all the anger he'd been grasping like a lifeline melted away and was replaced with overwhelming rush of sorrow. 

Michael shut his eyes and he used his thumb and pointer finger to grip the bride of his nose, pushing his glasses down his nose a bit. This was it, he couldn’t put it off any longer and Jeremy deserved to know no matter what the fallout might be. He sighed and shoved his glasses back up and brought his arms back down to his sides with a newfound resolve.

Michael shook his head, “No. I was just super pissed, Jere.” Jeremy gave a slight nod, his teeth were pulling at the skin of his bottom lip and Michael felt himself zero in on it, prepping himself up to say the one thing he wanted to do for years. 

“I love you.” He said spoke each work clearly hoping to convey every single emotion that he'd been trying not to feel these past couple of weeks. Jeremy’s lips hitched up in a half-smile.

“I love you too, Mikey.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He said squeezing his eyes shut again before continuing. “I love you as more than just my best friend, Jeremy. Like… like in the way you love Christine... like _love_ love” Michael felt the dampness at the corner of his eyes where his tears were beginning to gather. When he opened his eyes again, blinking back the tears, he saw that Jeremy still stood in the exact same spot staring at him with his mouth slightly open in shock. Michael gave a breathy, humorless laugh running one hand through his unkempt hair. 

“I’m so fucking in love with you, Jeremy. I can’t even remember a time when I wasn’t. It’s been killing me to watch you pull away. I mean fuck, Jere, in all our years of knowing each other you’ve always been here and then suddenly you just weren’t. It was Christine who saw you everyday instead of me. I knew we weren’t going to be inseparable forever but I didn’t know it’d stop just like that one day or that'd it hurt so goddamn badly.” Michael stopped to take a breath. Jeremy looked like he wanted to say something and started to open his mouth but Michael held his hand up. Now that’d started talking, he found he couldn’t stop.

“Wait… just let me finish. I know you you didn't do any of this on purpose. You probably didn't even realize you were hurting me and why should have? You're my best friend not anything else. You're happy and fuck, even if it sometimes feels like I'm dying inside, I'm happy for you. You got the girl of your dreams, the one you've been crushing on forever. Christine is everything you deserve too. She’s awesome, Jere. I can’t make myself hate her for putting that huge, goofy grin on your face even if I wish it were me doing it. I’m sorry that I've treated her sort of shitty too. My feelings aren't either of your faults. And I'm most sorry that I kept this from you for so long. I just... our friendship always meant more to me than anything and I didn’t want to ruin it. And would you look at that? Here I am ruining it with this fucking pity party of a love confession.” Michael started rambling while trying not to cry, fisting his hair angrily. “I’m going to get over it and I won't bother you anymore, I swear. I just needed you to know and if I wasn't such a fucking coward I would have told you sooner. I would have... I would have... Fuck! I would have done something, I'd have tried harder to not fucking feel things or... or..." He shoved his face in to his hands with a pained groan not wanting to chance seeing what would likely be disgust spelled across Jeremy's face. 

Time seemed to stop when he registered two soft, slightly shaky hands prying his own hands from his face. Jeremy stood in front of him with tears in his eyes. He let go of Michael’s hands and used both of his to lightly cup Michael’s face. He wiped away the tears on Michael’s cheeks with his thumbs and gave him a nervous, watery smile. Michael placed his own hands on top of Jeremy’s, his brow furrowing in confusion as both of them sniffled and peered at one another. Michael's heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest as he tried to make sense of what exactly was happening. When he went over how this was going to go in his head, a scenario like this one hadn't once crossed his mind. 

“Jeremy, I am…” Michael started but Jeremy shook his head softly silencing him. 

“I don't know what to say, Michael, but I'm sorry I brought Christine with me. I'm sorry about everything.” Jeremy said earnestly though his voice trembled. "Just... I need to go right now but I'll be back, I swear I will." Michael eyes darted over to fixate on the wall behind Jeremy. He felt his lips start to quiver. ' _Jeremy said he'd be back_ ,' he told himself. ' _Then why does it feel so much like he's leaving forever_?'

“Hey, Mikey. Mikey, look at me.” Michael reluctantly looked back to Jeremy who stared back at him, his face filled with a mix of anxiety and fondness. “I mean it. I’ll be back.” Michael gave a small nod and pulled his hands away from where Jeremy’s still grasped his cheeks. Jeremy smiled brightly, still looking as nervous as Michael felt, and removed his hands from Michael's face almost reluctantly.

“I promise, Michael.” Jeremy said with a certainty that Michael didn't know he could possess and headed towards the door, casting one last affectionate look at Michael before exiting. 

Michael stood there shaking, trying to process what in the absolute seven hells had just fucking happened. He ghosted his hand over his cheek where Jeremy's touch had left his skin tingling. He wasn't sure what any of that meant but it left him feeling lighter than he had in weeks. Jeremy didn't hate him. Fuck, he even apologized. He felt a genuine smile stretch across his face. _Jeremy didn't hate him_ and he said he'd be back. Somehow, even though his mind was currently telling him not to get too happy, he believed Jeremy. Even if Jeremy was just trying to comfort him to save their friendship, he'd take it. If all Jeremy was ever going to be was his best friend then he'd try harder to move on because one way or another, Jeremy was always going to be in his life. He had to be. But maybe, just maybe that whole face grabbing thing meant more? His mom had at some point materialized right in front him, startling him as she pressed the back of her hand against his forehead,

“You don’t feel warm, are you okay, sweetie?” Michael absently nodded trying to school his expression. 

“You feel up to telling me about what’s going on with Jeremy?” His mom asked cautiously maneuvering them both over to sit on the edge of Michael’s bed. Michael shook his head slowly back and forth. He wasn't even sure what was going on with Jeremy and he wasn't going to try and explain it to his mom five seconds after it happened. Though, he couldn't stop the tiniest bit of hope from blossoming within him while thinking about it. 

“Okay then, want to tell me who told you that you could skip school today? Because I’m pretty positive it wasn’t me or your mother.” Michael gaze shifted to the side where a smirk had appeared on his mom’s face. Michael let his head fall on her shoulder, mumbling something about more important things to do making his mom chuckle. She brought a hand up playfully ruffle his hair.

“Oh, did someone forget to invite me to family bonding time?” Michael glanced up to where his other mother stood in the doorframe looking at the two of them with a smug expression.

“Well, Sue, our boy here was just about to explain in detail all the reasons he thought he could skip school today without our permission.” Michael tucked his head in to her neck letting out an exaggerated groan.

“As long as he does it over dinner because I’m starving and this Chinese food isn’t going to eat itself.” Michael’s mother gestured in the direction of the dining room.

“You heard her, kiddo, lets eat!” His mom kissed him on the head, stood up, and walked to the door beckoning him to follow. Michael followed his mom’s thinking that for once in what felt like ever, things might turn out to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. One of Michael's mom's names is Sue and I have no idea why but there you have it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I'm not dead! I'm sorry this hasn't been updated in like 20 years and that the update is a short one at that. I've had a lot going on and my writer's block made a dramatic comeback. I passed my finals though so that's something. 
> 
> I wrote this a few times and I hated every draft but I hated this one the least - so here it is!

And things were okay all through dinner. They stayed okay through the night. They felt a little shaky upon waking up to well, nothing. They got a lot less okay on the drive to school. And by the time Michael slammed his locker closed and made it to class, they didn’t feel okay at all. 

Maybe Jeremy really was freaked out and everything he said yesterday was simply to make it less weird before he walked out of Michael’s life completely? Maybe Jeremy skipped with Christine and they’re laughing about the whole thing over frozen yogurt? Maybe Michael is just a big idiot who should have told his feelings to fuck off before opening his mouth? Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

His classes went by painfully slow still with no sign of Jeremy. It left a lot of time for him to sit around and contemplate each and every ‘what if’ in the book. The results of that were only slightly heinous with the worst being Jeremy so mortified that he changed his name and caught a flight to Bombay. When lunch rolled around, he’d almost given up hope of talking to Jeremy at all. The thought did cross his mind to text him but a selfish part of him wanted Jeremy to prove he would come back without Michael forcing him in to it. So, he refrained with a tremendous effort on his part.

He made no move to actively search for the familiar shaggy, brown hair in the crowded lunch room and instead focused on the beat of music bellowing from his headphones as he made his way to their usual table. Not surprisingly, he was the only one at the table when he got there. His appetite was non-existent so he folded his arms on the table and rested his head on them to wait out the half hour before classes reconvened. He didn’t even realize that the empty seats in front of him had been filled until a bony finger started insistently poking his at his head. Michael groaned and sat up, bringing down his headphones down to around his neck and stretching.

When he finally took the time to take notice, he was met with the bright blue eyes and an endearing smile of Jeremy Heere. As per the new usual, Christine was perched on the chair beside with a grin of her own as she looked up at him from the script in her hands. Michael felt words get stuck in his throat and instead looked at Jeremy expectantly.

Jeremy smiled, “Hey Mikey!”

“Hey?” Michael asked him questioningly. He sort of wanted to puke or cry. He hadn’t just imagined the big confrontation yesterday, did he? Because the Jeremy sitting in front of him was acting as though Michael didn’t confess to being in love with him less that 24 hours ago. 

“Michaelllllllllllllllllll!” Jeremy was waving his hand in front of Michael’s face trying to get his attention as he tried desperately not to show plethora of feelings all churning through him. 

“Sorry, man. What?”

“Do you want to hang out later? You gotta show me the bonus level on AotD you were talking about!” Jeremy asked enthusiastically, while accidently spitting out what looked like tiny, chewed pieces of French fry on the table. Michael couldn’t help the involuntary smile that pulled at his lips despite everything.

“Say it don’t spray it, my dude.” Michael said. Jeremy’s cheeks reddened slightly as he shoved another fry in to his mouth. Christine playfully nudged his shoulder and the clear affection on Jeremy’s face when he looked over at her brought the familiar pain lacing through his heart but much less subdued than he was use to? That was new. There was something to be said for getting stupid shit off your chest, he guessed, even if he was regretting it just an hour ago. 

“Soooo?” Jeremy asked, his attention now turned back on Michael.

“For sure. You need to pick up your copy anyway. Want to come with me after school?” Michael asked looking at Jeremy, propping his head up lazily on his hand. Jeremy nodded happily. Michael smiled at him fondly and Jeremy reciprocated, it felt like it was just the two of them again, if only for a few minutes. The sickness he'd been feeling slowly abated. Maybe they'd talk about it or maybe they'd never mention again. At the moment, Michael found that he'd make himself be okay with whatever. 

“Sup, tall ass?” Rich fell unceremoniously in to the chair next to him followed by Jake in the next one. The smile that had been previously occupying Jeremy’s face fell.

“Why do you call me that? It’s not like I’m even that tall,” an annoyed Jeremy asked.

Rich just shrugged, pouring way too much ketchup for any one human on his tray next to his own fries, “You’re not, not tall.” They all watched Jake grab the bottle from Rich who was putting up a valiant effort at keeping it. From beside Jeremy, Christine started giggling. 

“Seriously?” Jeremy just looked at her un-amused.

“Well, you are pretty tall, Jeremy.” Christine said trying to cover her laugh with her hand. Jeremy looked to Michael who offered a shrug in return. The awkwardness of the situation sort of settled in after that. The sounds of chewing seemed to permeate the air and Michael was not going to sit here for 20 more minutes listening to Rich Goranski smacking the whole time.

“Hey, thanks for the dick pic, Picasso.” Michael said side eyeing Rich. A smug expression settled on Rich's face. The stunned one that was now on Jeremy’s face was distracting and if Michael wasn’t set on easing the tension; he probably would have fixated on how adorable it was. 

“I’d do the same for any of my fans.” From beside Rich, Jake snorted. Rich elbowed him but Jake wrapped his around Rich’s shoulders and pulled him in to a tight side hug, placing a soft kiss to the top of his head. Michael cleared his throat and averted his eyes from the weirdly domestic scene between his former bully and the most popular guy in school. Christine bit in to an apple and refocused her attention on the script in front of her. Jeremy’s face resembled a tomato and he was staring at his tray like it’d stolen his lunch money. 

“You down for some gaming tonight, bro? Jakey D’s got badminton practice like an asshole.” Rich asked him after prying himself from Jake’s grip. Jeremy headed snapped up instantly.

“Nah, Jeremy and I got plans.” Michael said as nonchalantly as his possible hoping the giddiness he felt about those plans didn’t seep through too much.

Rich smirked deviously, “Ohhhhhhhhh. You got _plans_ , huh?” He put a big emphasis on the plans part of that statement and it made Michael manage to choke on air. He was going to retort with something probably stupid when low and behind, the unexpected happened. Jeremy, looking way more confident and hot than he had any right to, faced Rich head on and said, “And if we do?” Michael had to wonder again if he was being fucking Punk’d or something because what? He looked over to Christine to see what she had to make of this recent development. She was laughing to herself while highlighting lines from her book like Jeremy hadn’t just insinuated they might be actually be bumping uglies in a few hours.

Rich dipped his finger in to his mountain of ketchup and suggestively licked it off looking at Jeremy, “Mike’s got my number if you want to make it more... _interesting_.” Jeremy’s confidence visibly faltered as his eyes darted back and forth from Rich to Jake no doubt to figure out why someone would say that in front of their significant other. Rich waited a tick and busted out laughing first followed by Christine and Jake, the three of them were cackling like hyenas. Michael was in the process of forcing out some natural sounding laughing-sounding noises when the heavens opened up and smiled upon him in the form of the bell. A chorus of chairs scraping the ground as kids went to toss the remains of their lunches before heading to class. They all joined them, Rich winked dramatically at Jeremy before wrapping an arm around Jake's waist as the two left the table. He noticed Christine give Jeremy a peck on the cheek, so he turned his attention to getting his bag from the ground beside him. When he looked back, Christine had gone and Jeremy was waiting for him. They both walked from the lunch room to the hallway in an awkward but companionable silence. When they got by his next class, he gave Jeremy a quick salute and went to turn in to the room but was stopped by a hand around his bicep. He looked over his shoulder curiously. Jeremy was looking at him intently, if not a little nervously. 

"So, I'll meet you by your car after school?" Jeremy asked him like Michael had decided against the whole thing in the past 15 minutes. Instead of answering he grinned and nodded enthusiastically. Jeremy smiled back him and released him to continue walking down the hallway. Michael slipped in to his seat at the back of the room watching the other kids take their's around him. He tried and failed to prevent the warmth in his gut from growing when he realized it was the first time since Christine and Jeremy got together that they'd walked from lunch together. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is Rich a slut for ketchup? I don't know but dude LOVES IT. 
> 
> I won't promise another update quickly but I hope it won't nearly as long of a wait next time. Thanks for whoever is sticking with me on this story. <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let it go, let it goooooooooooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What???? Another chapter already????? It's thanks to you guys, to be honest. It was the comments, my dudes. They seriously mean a lot to me? Knowing that people actually like this??? 
> 
> Back at it again with those Frozen references~ 
> 
> (There's a microscopic Book of Mormon reference in there too somewhere~)

He could see Jeremy propped up against the side of his car when he exited the school. He looked relaxed with his eyes closed and his head tilted up towards the sun, a lazy smile on his face. The sight must have woken the pterodactyls in his stomach because it felt like they were having an orgy or something in there. _You spent the entire day telling yourself you’d be fine with whatever, get it under control, Mell,_ he chided himself. He fished his keys from his pocket and hit unlock as he approached, startling Jeremy.

“Hey, dude. You ready?” Michael asked opening his car door.

“Yeah, man, I haven’t played in forever!” Jeremy said hopping in the car and buckling his seatbelt. Michael started the car and plugged his phone in to the aux chord, putting his playlist on shuffle before pulling out of the school parking lot. He wasn’t sure what to say so he turned up the music instead. A part of him was furious at himself for letting things get so weird between them. They’d never had such a strain on their friendship and the blame could be placed solely on him. At least Jeremy was here though and more than that he seemed to want to be here. He really needed to stop overthinking everything.

He turned his blinker on to turn on to his road when Jeremy started chuckling from beside him.

 _"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen-"_ was now streaming from the speakers.

Oh fuck, so maybe he’d actually watched _Frozen_ and maybe some of the tunes were straight bangers so he added a few to his phone and forgot. Jeremy looked over at him with a completely straight face and started belting out the words alongside Idina Menzel. Michael couldn’t not join in and that’s how they ended up screaming the lyrics to "Let It Go" while parked in his driveway.

When the song ended, they looked at each other and lost it. Each time one of them would calm down, the other would start again. Michael used a finger to wipe away the tear that’d leaked out during his laughing fit.

Jeremy gave one last breathy chuckle and unbuckled his seat, “I never pegged you as a Frozen fanboy.”

“Says the guy who literally knew every single word.” Michael replied getting out the car and walking beside Jeremy up to the door.

“You try being around Christine more often and not learning every Disney song there is to know.”

Michael paused briefly before continuing through the front door and mumbling, “I bet.” It sort of felt like salt was being rubbed in his still fresh wound but he smiled at Jeremy reassuringly. Jeremy seemed to take that as affirmation that everything was okay and didn’t say anything else. Together they headed down to the basement. They shucked their bags and flopped down on the familiar beanbags. Michael handed a controller over to Jeremy and powered up the system. They didn’t really talk anymore about anything of substance after that besides the occasional zombie warning. If Michael didn’t think about it too hard, he could almost pretend that the past few weeks hadn’t ever happen and that things with Jeremy were fine.

His mom came in an hour or so later to let them know she ordered pizza, she gave Michael a knowing Look before going back upstairs. When it arrived, they paused the game to chow down. His mom had even gotten them a 2-liter of Mountain Dew. It was sort of a ritual that whenever they’d game over there, they’d share one without cups. They’d just pass it back and forth. He wasn’t sure when they started doing it but it stuck, at least that was still the same if nothing else was. As they finished up, Jeremy cleared his throat drawing Michael’s attention. As Jeremy began to speak, Michael's phone started ringing. He smiled at Jeremy apologetically and grabbed it. 

INCOMING CALL - RICH

Michael sighed and hit the accept button.

 

“What?”

“Whatcha doin’?”

“I’m with Jeremy. I literally told you what I’d be doing earlier.”

“You guys _doin’_ it?”

“Oh my god. Goodbye, Rich.”

 

Michael hung up before Rich could say anything else. He tossed his phone on the ground beside him, “Sorry, Jere, it was Rich being Rich.” Jeremy, looking anxious, nodded absently.

“So uh, you were going to say something?”

“How did you know you were… you know?” Jeremy started biting at his bottom lip again as he interlaced his finger and sat them on his lap where they were still fidgety.

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific there, buddy.” Michael was pretty sure he could guess what it was but better safe than sorry when discussing matters of your heart with the best friend that you sort of love. 

“How’d you know that you were in love with me?” Jeremy said not meeting his eyes, his focus instead on the hands in his lap. _All right, guess were going straight it for it_ , Michael thought, he could handle this. 

“I can’t give you an exact date and time, Jere if that's what you're asking. It just happened. I don’t know why. I just woke up one day and realized that what I felt towards you was way more than any friend should feel for another.” Michael stopped for a second to catch his breath, “I, uh, don’t want this to become like the final nail in the coffin of our friendship or anything. We seriously don’t have to talk about it or anything. I swear I under-.”

Jeremy cut him off before he could finish.

“I don’t think I love Christine.“ Okay, that didn’t go in the direction he thought it was going. Michael didn’t reply because he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that? How was he even suppose to be feeling right now? Because he couldn’t peg one emotion at the moment if his life depended on it but none of them could be categorized as particularly good.

“I mean it’s not that I don’t love her. I do love her. She’s amazing! I just don’t know if I’m in love with her?” Jeremy was still nipping at his lip between words, seemingly talking more to him self than he was to Michael. He stopped there finally looking up to meet Michael’s gaze. Uncertainty was painted clearly across Jeremy’s face.

“I don’t really know what to tell you. That’s something you’re going to have to figure out for yourself.” Jeremy took a deep breath, his focus still on Michael.

“Sometimes I think I might love you.” Michael’s breath hitched. No. No. No. Jeremy can’t do this. If he was going to make an effort to let this all go and move on from his stupid fucking feelings just for Jeremy to drop this bomb on him… No, Jeremy just couldn’t do this.

“Jeremy…” Michael swallowed trying to piece together what exactly he was trying to say. “You can’t… How I feel isn’t a fucking joke. You can’t sit there and tell me that like it’s nothing… like I haven’t spent all this time trying to deal with these feelings I can’t control." 

“How can you even think that anyway? You’ve barely spent more than an hour with me in the past month and the day after I confess, you suddenly think you ‘might love me’.” Michael emphasized the last part by making quotations with his hands. He stood and started pacing back and forth because he could no longer sit still. He was three parts fucking pissed and at least 2 parts on the verge of crying. If there was a part of him that hoped Jeremy was being truthful and there was hope for them being together then that part could take a fucking seat. Jeremy stood up, setting his controller to the side and shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. 

“Michael, I really-“

Michael held his hand up, “No. Can we just… finish this level?” He fell back on his beanbag and grabbed the Mountain Dew, taking a long swig. He didn’t have it in him to fight. Jeremy was giving him emotional whiplash and he couldn’t do it. He could, however, hang out with his best friend. He could joke around with him and share 2-liters but he couldn’t handle talking about this anymore. So, he did what he does best. He shoved those feelings right on back in to that nice, little box that’d he’d eventually get around to crushing in to smithereens. Jeremy was still standing there, his arms now crossed across his chest. Michael reached over and patted the beanbag beside him. Jeremy sighed walked over, grabbing his controller, and sat down on to it slowly.

That’s how they spent the rest of the night until Jeremy had to go home, hardly talking except to acknowledge a decent kill. The drive over to Jeremy’s house was filled with a silence that Michael wasn’t sure he wanted to break even if he knew how. When they pulled in to Jeremy's driveway, he got out but paused before closing the door, leaning back in towards Michael. 

“Can I ride with you to school tomorrow?”

Michael didn't think twice before he nodded, “Of course, Jere.”

He took a step back and shut the car door carefully. Michael watched him walk up to his house but he stopped before entering, the headlights of Michael’s car illuminating his face. Jeremy turned and mouthed “goodnight,” with a slight smile. Michael returned the sentiment and with that Jeremy went inside. He plugged his phone in to the aux chord and scrolled until he found the song he was looking for. "Let It Go" played the whole way back to his house as he let the teeny, tiny, hopeful part of him have it’s moment in the sun. He could deal with all the other feelings later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always shared 2-liters with my friends when we'd game so Michael and Jeremy do too. Cups are a crutch~ 
> 
> If how Michael processes and deals with emotions seems off-kilter or out in left field, it's because I'm using my own emotional processing as reference and boy oh boy am I not good at those things.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Froyo!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College is killing me one critical poetry analysis essay at a time but here is a new chapter! Hopefully you guys don't hate it! 
> 
> It's 1:40am. So, I technically lied about having this chapter out Wednesday but close enough, right?

The next month continued in what Michael considered an alarmingly normal way. There was a tentative unspoken thing between them where neither mentioned their conversation from that night. Jeremy started riding with him to school again like before, but school was still the same. Everyday Christine and Jeremy came in together and occasionally offered one another a peck on the cheek every once in a while. The overwhelming hurt from seeing them together that Michael felt initially had dulled enough that he was able to avoid dwelling on it. Christine had started including Michael almost always now. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time Jeremy and Christine spent a weekend alone unless they snuck in some time when he wasn’t around and that wasn’t often. It felt good, if he was being honest, to be included. Rich attached himself to Michael like gum under a desk and with him came Jake. He wasn't use to having a social life. Things weren’t perfect, but they were nice, and he’d take that over anything else. He should have known that some kind of 5'4" tall problem would worm it's way in somehow. 

“It’s just one date, dude, come onnnnnnnnnnn.” Rich threw his hands up in frustration making a rather dramatic show of it.

“I said no.” Michael pushed his glasses to the top of his head rubbed his eyes. Rich’s grand plan was to set Michael up with a guy from school that he didn’t even know existed until last week. He had wanted to tell Rich about the conversation with Jeremy, but it wasn’t really his to tell. This was something Jeremy needed to reconcile himself. He hoped it’d end favoring him, but he was finally at a point where he could definitely… probably… MAYBE move on. These things take time. Unfortunately, Rich was stubborn as fuck and Michael was learning that the hard way.

“Pat’s a cool kid and I know for a fact that Jeremy will hate him.” Rich crossed his arms over his chest almost daring Michael to say no.

“I’m not going to date someone just to upset Jeremy. Did you forget about Christine? And I don’t feel right just using someone.” Michael mimicked Rich’s stance. They were standing in the center of his room having a stare down. Michael had to look down to meet Rich’s eyes, but his stance took nothing away from the fact that Rich was fucking terrifying when he wanted to be. Rich nodded a couple of times to himself and relaxed.

“Okay.” Rich said with a shrug and went back over to the beanbag chair in front of the TV. Michael stood there confused watching him as he cut the gaming system back on.

“Okay? Just like that?”

Rich looked over his shoulder smiling way too innocently, “Just like that.”

Michael still thought that was fishy as fuck, but he strode over to the other bean bag chair anyway and managed to forget all about it for the time being.

* * *

 

He fucking knew it. That conniving little dick hole. Michael had just walked in to Pinkberry with Jeremy and Christine when he noticed another guy sitting next to Jake. _That better be his other boyfriend or I swear to fuck_ , Michael thought to himself. He didn’t realize he’d stopped right in front of the door until Jeremy gave him a little push forward. He walked cautiously over to the table behind Jeremy glancing over to the chair beside Rich, but Rich gave the smallest head shake as to say, _I think the fuck not_.

He hadn’t even wanted to come here today. Rich corned him by his locker and said they were all hanging out at Pinkberry after school. When he tried to protest, Rich just put a finger up to Michael’s lips shushing him and told him to shut the fuck up. He should have known then just to bail but the call of the froyo was too strong to ignore.

He let Jeremy and Christine take that chair and the one next to it and slide in to the only one left. He gave the guy next to him a reserved smile and then directed a scathing look at Rich who saw it and proceeded to ignore him. Jeremy normally looked uncomfortable, but at that moment he looked like he’d rather lie in traffic than be sitting there with them. His blue eyes were flitting from Michael to the stranger beside him. Rich took the moment to clap his hands together obnoxiously earning the attention of the table.  

“Pat, these are the guys.” Rich said gesturing vaguely in the direction of the three of them that just came in.

“Guys, this is Pat.” Rich was grinning like he’d just introduced the president or something. Michael was going to kick his short ass when they left this place. Okay, maybe not kick his ass but they were going to be talking. He once shoved Michael in to a locker so hard, he genuinely thought it had dislocated his shoulder. So, he wasn’t actively trying to throw fisticuffs, but he’d be giving him a strongly worded letter if nothing else for this bullshit.

Jake wrapped his arm around Rich’s shoulders and added, “Pat’s on the soccer team with me, dude is killer on the field." 

Pat’s expression got a little smug, which did nothing to take away from the fact that he was unbelievably attractive, but it didn’t make Michael anymore keen to get to know him. Jeremy must have noticed too because he was scowling at him.

Christine smiled widely, “Hi Pat, I'm pretty sure we have 5th period History together!" 

Pat nodded, “Christine, right?”

Christine smiled happily. She looked like she was going to continue on, but surprise surprise, Rich had other clearly devious plans.

“How about these nerds," Rich pointed to Michael and Pat, "hold the table for us while the rest of us fro it up? They can go when we get back. Sound good?” Rich didn’t wait for an answer before he got up beckoning them with a wave of his hand. Jake chuckled and got up to follow him. Michael had been versed in the study of Jeremy for many years but even he couldn’t peg the emotions Jeremy had on display. He was gnawing at his bottom lip like a dog with a bone, so he was anxious but as for anything else, Michael wasn’t sure. He didn’t seem to be in any rush to get out of his chair though. Christine sighed and reached down for Jeremy’s hand, pulling him up and away from the table.

“Come on, Jeremy. They finally got raspberry cheesecake back in!” Christine said cheerily. She looked over at Pat and then smiled at Michael as she tugged Jeremy over to the froyo machines. The paranoid part of him would bet his left nut that Christine was also in on this little stunt.

Besides that, there were a few scattered thoughts bouncing around his head. He'd be writing Rich a very strongly worded letter AND he was going to shit on his pillows. That was an absolute positive. Pillows that belonged to Rich were going to be shit on. He’d swear in front of a jury in a court of fucking law. He also knew he hadn’t had a conversation with an admittedly hot fella that wasn’t Jeremy in maybe forever. So, he was trying very hard not to fully panic. 

Michael turned to look at Pat bouncing his leg up and down anxiously. The other guy was sitting there looking completely at ease. How Michael hadn’t noticed him before was beyond him. Pat had the whole boy next door thing going for him and man alive was it working for him. 

Michael cleared his throat and turned a bit in his seat to reach out his hand, “Uh hey, I’m Michael.”

Pat smiled at him and grabbed his Michael’s hand but didn’t immediately let go, “I’m Pat. Rich told me a lot about you.”

The room got a few degrees hotter and Michael felt his pulse pick up the pace as he took in the feeling of Pat's fingers wrapped around his hand. He was suddenly acutely aware that his hoodie hadn’t been washed in like two weeks. He didn’t brush his hair this morning and his palms felt clammy. Strangers didn’t normally have prolonged handshakes, right? That was a thing they didn’t do? Michael quickly flicked his gaze over to the froyo machines. Jeremy was standing next to Christine, but his focus purely was on Michael at the table. Michael forced his eyes back to Pat and let his hand go with an awkward laugh.

“Heh, yeah, uh hopefully nothing too weird. I swear I don’t keep like decapitated Barbie heads on the top shelf of my closet in a shoebox or anything.” Michael rubbed back the back of his neck trying to appear a lot less nervous than he was. Pat’s left eyebrow shot up, but he looked slightly amused. 

“That is oddly specific.” Pat replied, “No weirder than someone keeping their toe nail clippings though.”

  
“I watched this show once where this chick was in to eating pieces of her mattress. So, toe nail hoarding? Total rookie move.” Michael said making Pat snort.

“My mom keeps my baby teeth in a jar on top of the fridge. It’s a great conversation starter when we get company.” Pat shrugged and grinned at him.

“Ah the old baby teeth in a jar on top of the fridge convo starter! Works every time!” Michael matched his grin causing them both to laugh. Pat was actually beautiful and likeable which could be a really good thing or a really awful thing. Michael wasn’t sure yet.

“So, would you maybe want to talk about my baby teeth over my place sometime?” Pat met his eyes, a smile still playing at his lips. Did he? He’d entertained the idea of genuinely moving on and meeting someone new but... a pretty big part of him knew it’d be unfair to Pat to start something when he was still so emotionally invested in Jeremy. 

This train of thought left him completely unsure of what to reply. Thankfully the others had picked that moment to waltz back up to the table. Rich had piled his cup up to the top in a mountain of both chocolate and rainbow sprinkles. He stuck his spoon in and shoved a big chunk of it in to his mouth looking way too proud of himself. Christine was talking animatedly with a spoon in one hand and a cup of froyo in the other to Jake about the Spring musical. Jeremy didn’t bring anything back with him. He sat down and stared at his hands that he'd folded on top of the table. Michael wanted to reach across to him, but he didn’t. Instead, he held up three fingers and tried to get his attention by calling his name. He didn’t immediately react, but Christine heard and nudged him with Jeremy with her elbow. When he looked up and noticed Michael’s fingers, Michael pointed them towards the bathroom and got up. When he got inside, he stood inside against the sinks waiting for Jeremy to follow. Normally, three fingers was code for ‘I need a minute’ but it had been used once or twice in the past for top secret rendezvous’ in the nearest bathroom. In retrospect, holding fingers up and pointing to the restroom wasn’t exactly incognito but they were kids when they came up with the finger code, so it could be forgiven.

Jeremy pushed through the door a minute or so later. He let the door close behind him. He stood there looking at Michael, grabbing the cuffs of his cardigan down to cover each of his hands.

“Are you okay? You looked like you might be sick or something?” Michael asked.

When Jeremy spoke, it was barely a whisper, “I'm fine.”

Yeah, that sounded about as far from fine as you could get. Michael sighed and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around Jeremy’s back and squeezing. He felt Jeremy’s arms fall to his sides before they mimicked Michael’s and embraced him. They stood like that in the Pinkberry bathroom for he didn’t know how long. When he finally pulled back, his eye’s met Jeremy’s. It felt significant though he couldn’t say exactly why. It was reminiscent of the first time Michael told Jeremy how he felt.

As much as he wanted to stand there for the rest of his life, it’d probably look sketchy for them to both take an hour in the bathroom. So, Michael cleared his throat with a smile, 

“We should probably get back out there. I don’t think the Ministry of Magic excuse will hold up very well if we are put on trial.” That got a chuckle from Jeremy. Michael opened the door for him and they strode out together. Everybody at the table was apparently in the middle of a lively conversation. Pat noticed them walking over and smile grew wider at the sight of Michael. He couldn’t lie and say that it didn’t feel fucking fantastic, but Pat just wasn’t Jeremy. Michael offered a polite small in return as they took their seats. Christine looked at Jeremy with her brows furrowed, Jeremy mustered up some semblance of a reassuring smile but if Michael wasn’t convinced then Christine sure wouldn’t be.

“Mike, my man, please tell Ms. Canigula here that we only have 7 levels left on Apocalypse and we simply don’t have time to help build sets.”

“Michael, please tell Rich here that after school activities look good on college transcripts and we really really really need volunteers.” Christine countered. She looked like a baby sea lion on high alert. It was simultaneously admirable and frightening all at once.

“Uh, I don’t think I’ve ever done that before?” He offered.

“We will show you guys the ropes and everything!” Christine pleaded with the biggest set of puppy dog eyes on this side of the Mason-Dixon line.

Michael sighed, resigned to his fate and narrowed his eyes directly at Rich, “We’ll help, won’t we Richard?”

Rich gapped at him clearly wanting to say no but he knew he had no leeway after today. He rolled his eyes,

“Fine but it’s still bullshit that they don’t have to.” Rich pouted crossing his arms over his chest. Jake kissed the side of Rich’s head and shrugged,

“Soccer conflicts with the rehearsal schedule otherwise we totally would!” Jake said nodding towards Pat who vehemently agreed.

Jeremy hadn’t offered anything to the conversation, but he looked far better off than he had been half an hour ago. Hopefully Christine wouldn’t press him. Rich got up to throw away his trash and said they were going to head out. The other follows suit and headed to the parking lot. As they approached their cars, Pat walked over beside him.

“Hey, I meant to ask earlier but could I get your number?” Pat asked Michael and he could feel the hope radiating off of him.

Michael wanted to punch himself in the face. Here was this gorgeous human specimen asking for his phone number and all he could think about was Jeremy. Pat seemed like a chill guy though. Maybe they could be friends? 

“Yeah, sure, no problem.” Michael answered. Pat handed him his phone and Michael proceeded to tap his number in. When he was done Pat gave him a smile, a quick “goodbye,” and rushed off to his car. Rich and Jake had already split but Christine and Jeremy were still there.

“Hey buddy, you still coming with me or?” Michael asked once he’d joined them. They’d talked about hanging out afterwards, but it’d been a weird fucking afternoon, so he figured he’d double check.

Jeremy shook his head sheepishly, “Can I take a rain check for tomorrow?”

“Sure thing! I’m still picking up for school, right?” Michael was sort of relieved. He needed to time to sleep away his exhaustion. Social interaction should be an olympic sport. 

“Yep, if that's okay?” Jerry paused for a brief second before locking eyes with Michael, “Thanks, Mikey.” The way Jeremy said it, full of emotion, it was clear he meant it about more than just a ride to school. Michael nodded and smiled at him. Christine walked over and gave Michael a kiss on the cheek before turning to her car. Jeremy beamed at him as he waved and walked over to Christine's car. 

On his drive back home, he thought about what happened in the bathroom. It was no different from any other time they’d hugged or supported one another and yet, it was in every way that mattered. Was he a fucking idiot for wanting it to be what he thought it was? Probably. That didn’t stop his feelings from smashing out of their little box and having their way with him. His phone dinged as he pulled in the driveway. He put the car in park and checked his phone to see that his favorite douche canoe had texted him. 

 

**New Message:**

**Rich (6:17pm):**

_Told ya so >;p_

 

Well, at least he knew operation shit on Rich’s pillows was a go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the most inconsistent person that I know and for that, I am sorry. I'll do my best to shorten the wait time between chapters!
> 
> P.S. Sorry for any mistakes. I'll do an actual proof read tomorrow when I'm not so tired.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Car talks and stuff in between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually stopped being a lazy sack of shit and wrote some chapters. I'll be posting one every Wednesday until this story comes to a close. 
> 
> This one is kind of short, sorry about that.

Michael had never been around many break-ups. His parents had been happily in love since well before he was born. They weren’t shy about telling anyone how they met. They were certainly less shy when talking excitedly about the day they found out officially that Michael was finally baking in the oven after two years of disappointing doctor's visits. His household was always filled with love in abundance. The only time he’d seen a house that lacked the same atmosphere was at Jeremy’s. It wasn’t that both his mom’s and Jeremy’s parents didn’t get along or adore both of the boys because they did. The issue was that this adoration didn’t extend between Mr. and Mrs. Heere to one another. They were often at each other’s throats about insignificant things which led to Jeremy spending most of his time at Michael’s.

Jeremy’s parents eventually divorced the summer before their freshman year. The split was amicable but at the time, Jeremy was devastated. He blamed himself fully for it happening no matter how many times they told him otherwise. There were many nights that Michael stayed over just to wake up to Jeremy trembling beside him. Michael would just reach over and hug him to his chest until his cries died out. They never really talked about it when daylight broke but they didn’t need to. Eventually Jeremy’s mom settled down in a town a few hours away and ever since Jeremy spends a month during the summer with her. She texts Jeremy every day reminding him that she loves him, and she can’t wait to see him. It took some time but Jeremy started to see the all the good that came from the situation. His dad laughed more, his mom smiled more, and the sound of arguing no longer permeated the air in the Heere household.

Those nights, however, were burned in to his memory. He’d never seen Jeremy so distraught as he was during the divorce, and he never wanted to see him feel that way ever again. His heart wanted to plummet just thinking about it. So, it was a little surprising when Jeremy hopped in the car the morning after their froyo hang, to tell Michael he’d broken up with Christine. There were no tears or signs that he’d been overly emotional at all. His smile seemed open and genuine. He couldn’t see even an ounce of the pain that he’d seen in Jeremy when everything happened. Michael stared at Jeremy as he buckled his seatbelt feeling dumbfounded. Sure, Jeremy might have said he wasn’t positive that he was in love with Christine but break-ups still hurt and nothing about Jeremy’s disposition said he was feeling anything other than content. Michael wasn’t an idiot. There was a very clear difference between the divorce of someone’s parents and a high school break up but there was just… nothing? No sad to be found on, about, or around Jeremy Heere.

“You did what?” Michael was still staring at him incredulously. How could Jeremy just waltz up to the car and nonchalantly drop that bomb? This was Jeremy. The same Jeremy who couldn’t vocally say he had to go to the bathroom for years. The same Jeremy that skipped school for an entire week during their freshman year in 2014 because Michael may have given Madeline a note Jeremy wrote asking her out. Okay, MAYBE he shouldn’t have done it, but Jeremy wasn’t going to and it was worth a shot. Especially since this was the first one he wrote to someone other than Christine. And he wasn’t going to get himself murdered by giving Christine one of those, thanks. Of course, Michael should have taken the whole ‘Madeline is a raging bitch’ factor in to account but people make mistakes. How could he have known for sure that she was going to read it, laugh, and throw it out? It wasn’t his proudest moment, but he didn’t regret trying to make Jeremy happy one way or another.  

“We decided that we worked better as friends. We are both cool with it! We’re even going to the Spring musical auditions together on Friday!” Jeremy exclaimed excitedly.

“But you guys aren’t dating?” Michael was still trying to get his mind to fathom what he was hearing. Jeremy had to be feeling something, right? He'd been infatuated for years with Christine and now he was just... a okay with not being together. Not only that but he said he was the one to break up with her. It was just kind of mind blowing. 

Jeremy shook his head, “Nope! Not dating!” 

“Oh. Okay. Well. Okay. That’s…. that’s good? Are you okay?” Michael turned back to the wheel and reversed the car out of the drive trying to focus on the motions of driving instead of the obnoxious pounding of his heart trying to rip through his rib cage.  

“I’m great! A little nervous about the auditions but Christine has been working with me, so I think I’ll do alright.”

“Do alright? You’re gonna melt their fucking faces off, Jere!” Michael paused for a second wondering if he should just let it drop but letting shit go has obviously never been his forte, “if you want to talk about the other thing though, just let me know? I’m here for you, buddy.” Michael added, stealing a glance over at Jeremy while stopped at a traffic light. Jeremy was already looking at him, so their eyes locked as Jeremy spoke.

“I know.” There was no room for debate judging by the serious inflection in his voice. A car horn behind him shattered the moment, and Michael drove the rest of the way to school feeling less than put together.

* * *

 

If he thought he’d have his bearings together by the end of the day, he was sadly mistaken. Christine and Jeremy were exactly the same. Michael considered that he had, for the thousandth time since their first talk, hallucinated their conversation on the ride to school. Lunch was weird but mainly because it was exactly the same. They all sat in the same seats. They are talked like it was just another day. Christine was just as she always is, bubbly and wonderful. She even asked if they’d come support them at auditions. Jake couldn’t but Rich and Michael said they wouldn’t miss it. Or well Michael did, Rich looked unamused but agreed anyway. When the final bell rang, Michael still felt out of sorts and seeing Pat leaned up against the lockers beside his didn’t help at all.

“Hey Michael!” Pat was cheery and dressed for practice if the shin guards and cleats were any indication. Michael smiled at him before put in his code and tossed the Biology book in his hand inside. 

“Hey! How’d you know where my locker was?” Michael shut the locker and stood there wondering what to do with his hands. Were they always this in the way? Should he put them casually in pockets? He settled for adjusting the strap on his book bag just to keep them busy.

“I might have asked Rich.” Pat shrugged a little sheepishly.

“Yep, well, he’d know that.” Michael looked down at the ground wondering what the odds were of a sinkhole suddenly appearing to put him out of his misery. He was not equipped with the skills for this kind of thing. Pat was apparently completely undisturbed by the crushing awkwardness of this exchange. There was a small interlude where neither of them said anything. When Michael looked up, Pat was looking at him curiously.

“Do you want to hang out Saturday?” Pat asked and it was just drenched in confident optimism as though he just knew Michael would say accept.

No immediate plans popped in to this head other than watching Jeremy and Christine's audition on Friday. He really didn’t have a good excuse not to say yes. He didn’t want to say no though either. He liked Pat, not in the way Pat seemed to like him, but still. So, he did the next best thing he could think of, he threw his friends under the bus and prayed they’d just go along with it out of the goodness of their hearts. 

“I think everyone is coming over for a Mario Kart tournament on Saturday. You’re welcome to join us. I could always use another ass to kick.” Michael chuckled and hoped he wasn't transparent. He didn't need it to be obvious that he was trying to avoid being alone with Pat. Thankfully if Pat picked up on it, he graciously didn’t say anything. He just nodded like it was the best idea he’d ever heard.

“I’d be down for that!” Pat said looking down at his watch, “Shit! Gotta run. Text me about Saturday?” He waited for my Michael nod an affirmative and took off down the hall. Michael sighed in relief. That was one crisis averted or it was until he remembered that he had to coerce a bunch of people to go along with his plan. 

* * *

 Jeremy was already waiting for him in the parking lot when he got there. He was sitting on the hood of Michael’s car and playing around on his phone. Jeremy didn’t notice him walk up, so Michael clicked the unlock button on his key and watched Jeremy jump. He looked up at Michael annoyed but it was quickly replaced with the same goofy smile he’d been sporting all day.

“Dude! I felt like I was waiting forever. What took so long?” Jeremy asked as they both got situated in the car. Michael tossed his book back over the seat in to the back.

“Pat was at my locker. He wanted to ask me about maybe hanging out Saturday.” Michael offered, putting the keys in the ignition. He saw Jeremy stiffen out of the corner of his eye.

“Jake's friend, Pat?” Jeremy asked tentatively.

“One in the same.” Michael cut his eyes over at Jeremy before turning out of the school parking lot. He was fidgeting with his hands and worrying his bottom lip.

“What’d you say?” An unsure sounding Jeremy inquired.

“I might have told him that everyone was coming over for a Mario Kart tournament and then invited him to it.”

He saw Jeremy turn his head towards Michael but couldn’t see his expression with his eyes on the road.

“When did we plan that?”

Michael coughed, “Uh, we didn’t?” When Jeremy didn’t say anything, he continued, “I panicked.”

“You lied so you didn’t have to tell him no?”

“Well… when you say it like that it sounds bad.”

Jeremy started laughing. In fact, he sounded down right giddy. Michael looked over at him again. Jeremy had one hand on the ‘oh shit’ bar and the other was busy on his phone.

“It’s not that funny!” Michael said feigning offense.

“I know! I just… nevermind. I texted everybody about Saturday.” Jeremy said looking a lot like he was holding back either another chuckle or something more.

“Oh thank fuck. I should have done that immediately. They aren’t allowed to say no under penalty of I’m going to be really fucking embarrassed if they don’t show.”

“Don’t worry, Mikey, I’ll be there!” Jeremy assured him.

“Our friendship would be null and void if you bailed on me, dude.” Michael declared pulling up to his house. The second the words left his mouth, he regretted them. He noticed a pained look flash across Jeremy’s face but it was gone as soon as it came. His parents weren’t home yet so it was uncomfortably quiet when they retreated from the car and made their way to Michael’s bedroom.  

Michael threw his bag on the ground and watched Jeremy do the same. There was a palpable tension in the air that wasn’t there before Michael put his foot right in to his pie hole. Jeremy looked at him as though he really wanted to say something but instead of saying it, he just went to cut the Xbox on. Michael walked over to him before he could sit down. He put his hand lightly on Jeremy’s shoulder causing the other boy to turn around and face him.

“I’m sorry. I'm an idiot. I swear I didn’t mean anything by that.” Michael told him without moving his hand. Jeremy swallowed and put his hand on top of Michael’s.

“I’m the one who ditched you, you don’t have to apologize for that. Not ever. I swear, I will never do that again.” Jeremy said earnestly gazing at him. In that moment, Michael was more tempted than he’d ever been before to close the gap between them. They were just so close but Jeremy had literally just ended his relationship and he would not force anything on him. So, instead he gave Jeremy’s shoulder a squeeze and retracted his hand. He held up the pinky of his other one,   

“Pinky promise?” 

Jeremy’s grin could have blinded someone who was already blind. He grasped his own pinky around Michael’s and nodded once.

“Pinky promise.” Michael smiled and pulled back his hand giving Jeremy a playful shove on to the bean bag chair beside him. Michael followed suit and soon they were busy offing zombies. It was a pretty good end to a weird ass day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tough conversations and auditions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY that this is two days late. My system of opening a document of a previous chapter and then writing over it and doing a 'save as' bit me right in the ass. 
> 
> I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that this is the dumbest possible system to have in writing and you would 100% correct. For the record, I never claimed to be smart. 
> 
> I lost this whole chapter so I did a re-write. I don't think I like it but whatever. Here it is.

The loud chiming of an alarm blaring pulled Michael from the depths of a dream involving Pac-Man and a crate of blueberries. He swatted his hand haphazardly to the nightstand aiming for his glasses and knocking off everything else on there in the process. Once he had could properly see, he leaned over to pick up his phone that'd fallen during his half-assed attempt at rescuing his glasses. He clicked the end button, thankful that his phone was no longer screaming at him, and laid it to the side. It was only 6:00 in the morning so he closed his eyes and tried to catch a few more minutes asleep.

They had finally reached the bonus level on AOTD2 last night and sleep seemed unnecessary in comparison. They didn't beat it but that was all on Mr. Jeremy I-Need-Sleep-For-My-Audition-Tomorrow Heere. Speaking of which, Michael looked over to see Jeremy sleeping soundly as a small puddle of drool gathered on his pillow. How he slept through the screeching of the phone alarm was beyond him.

After a few minutes of trying and failing to go back to sleep, he leaned over and shook Jeremy's arm, "Wakey wakey, Jerebear!"

Jeremy grunted and turned over pulling the blanket over his head. He waited a few seconds before making the executive decision to rip the cover down and commence tickling. Jeremy was extremely ticklish like so ticklish that he gave Michael an accidental black eye one time. However violent, it was still a fact that Michael has exploited time and again since he found out. It currently had Jeremy laughing and flailing like a fish out of water.

"I'm up! I'm up!" Jeremy yelled trying to catch his breath. Michael retreated, sitting back on his side of the bed. Jeremy was smiling with his arm tossed across his eyes. It was small and unguarded smile, but it was absolutely endearing. Michael allowed himself a nano second to look before hopping out of bed with a full body stretch. Jeremy yawned and moved like he was going to pull the blanket back over his head.

"Oh no ya don't." Michael said grabbing the comforter and letting it land on the floor, "Time to get up! Didn't you want to get to school early to practice with Chris?"

Michael watched Jeremy shoot up and shout "AUDITIONS" before racing from the bed. "I can't believe I was sleepy enough to almost forget what today was!" Jeremy said as he collected clean clothes from the stash he'd left in case of sleepovers. Michael smirked watching him hurry to the bathroom with the clothes in his arms as a loud 'ding' sounded from his phone.

**New Message:**

**Pat(6:15AM):**

_Good morning!_

Michael gulped. A giant wave of guilt and nerves flooded his system. Jeremy told him he was being stupid, but he felt like shit for lying. He should have told him the truth. He should have done something other than what he did. _Too late now_ he thought to himself grimly. Thankfully after Jeremy sent out Michael's SOS text, the whole gang would be here tomorrow for the impromptu Mario Kart tournament. He'd need to eventually talk to Pat and draw a line but it wasn't going to be in his boxers over a text at 6 something in the morning. 

**Michael(6:17AM):**

_Morning!_

**Pat(6:20AM):**

_Coach came down with something so practice got cancelled. Soooooo I was wondering if you were free after school today?_

Today was Jeremy and Christine's auditions. He had actual honest to God plans but it didn't feel right to just turn him down. Even more so, he didn't want to turn him down. He genuinely wanted to get to know him. Maybe he'd be having a talk about feelings and shit with Pat sooner than he thought? Plus, if practice was cancelled then chances are Jake would be with Rich anyway. So, it wasn't like they'd be all alone if he got too panicky. With his mind made up, he texted back.

**Michael(6:28AM):**

_Jere and Chris have auditions and I promised them I'd be there. You could come with me if you want?_

He maybe could have worded it differently but all in all, not too shabby.

**Pat(6:30AM):**

_Yeah, that'd be cool! I'll meet you by your locker at the end of the day? :D_

**Michael(6:31AM):**

_Sounds good!_

Michael set his phone down as Jeremy pranced back in to the room looking ready to go. Realizing he hadn't even started getting ready, he grabbed some clothes and managed to not take 5 years in the shower.

Jeremy had already gone down stairs and was sitting at the kitchen table shoving a Poptart down his throat like he was competing for the gold in deep throating sugary breakfast food. Michael grabbed the Poptart box from in front of Jeremy and put one in to his hoodie pocket.

"Alrighty." Michael said tossing his bag over his shoulder, "You ready?"

Jeremy nodded and crammed the last of his breakfast in his mouth with a smile. 

* * *

"Oh hey, so I invited Pat to watch your auditions today. That cool?" Michael said as they approached the school. The ride there was fairly silent. Jeremy was more quiet than usual probably due to nerves.

Jeremy adjusted the strap of his book bag, "I guess? Didn't Jake say they had practice or something?"

"Yeah, Pat texted this morning telling me it was cancelled or whatever. I, uh, thought I'd talk to him before or after maybe." Michael grabbed the handle of the door and let Jeremy go through first.

"About what?" Jeremy stopped off over to the side by his locker. Michael followed him over. It was still sort of early. So, the school wasn't insanely crowed yet.

"You know, set up some boundaries of the 'we are only friends' variety." Michael gulped thinking about it. He knew he wasn't a coward. He just wasn't particularly accustomed to engaging in emotional conversations with people he barely knew. Jeremy was literally the only friend he had and wanted to spend time with up until a month and some change ago. Feelings were always murky ground anyway and his relationship with them this year hadn't been great. Jeremy grabbed a book and shoved it in to his bag, slamming his locker shut, and turning to face Michael.

"Just be honest. I don't really know him but if he likes you at all then he'd understand, right?" Jeremy offered with a fond look.

Michael sighed, "I know you're right, but it doesn't make me any more thrilled about it."

"Yeah, but you'll probably feel better about everything."

No one but Jeremy had seen him yet. He could magically get sick and fuck off for the rest of the day. Biting the inside of his cheek, he just nodded knowing he needed to do this, not only for him but for Pat. The dude was awesome, and Michael didn't want to be that guy. Jeremy reached out and patted his shoulder gently in silent solidarity.

A shout rang from the down the hall where slightly disheveled Christine Canigula was racing towards them.

"Jeremy! Oh my god! I'm so late! I overslept! We only have maybe 15 minutes before Mr. Reyes will kick us out for class." She panted, turning towards Michael, pushing the few strands of hair that'd fallen in her face out of the way. "Hey Michael! Sorry to grab Jere and run!"

"No bigs, I'll will catch up with you guys later!" He said. Christine gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

Jeremy hesitated for a moment before eloping Michael in a tight hug. "You got this, Mikey." He whispered in Michael's ear. With one last pat on the arm, Jeremy and Chris turned to make towards the auditorium. 

He was scared. He was man enough to admit that to himself. He'd been going over every way he could possibly say what he wanted to. How does one articulate friend boundaries? The likely hood that Pat liked him so much that'd he'd be heartbroken was slim… he hoped. They'd only known each other for like a week after all. Michael knew what he wanted, and it wasn't Pat, at least not in that way. He could do this. He was going to do this even if he shit himself in the process. 

* * *

 

Twenty years had passed at a snail's pace by the time the first lunch bell rang. Jeremy and Chris were taking the period for extra practice so only Rich and Jake were there to greet him as he slumped in to a chair.

"What's got you so glum, sweetheart?" Rich asked him already pouring ketchup over what looked like some kind of meat like substance on his tray. Michael noticed lately that Jake had started keeping a bottle of ketchup for Rich in his book bag specifically for lunch. Whoever said romance was dead?

Michael just groaned in response, dropping his head dramatically on the table.

"And what did we do to deserve this Oscar worthy pity party?" Michael looked up to see Rich mumbling through a mouthful of… whatever he was eating. He chewed as he waited for a response that was not forthcoming.

"Fine fucker, I have good news anyways." He paused probably waiting for Michael to eagerly ask what it is was. "Oh come on. Nothing, Mell? I don’t get paid enough for this!"

Michael huffed amusedly, "I didn’t realize you got paid for it all."

"Shows what you know then, doesn’t it?" Rich said with a wink.

"Ha, yeah, whatever you say, amigo." Michael countered pulling out the Poptart he'd shoved in his hoodie that morning. Rich rolled his eyes taking another bite.

"Like I was saying, I have good news. Jake's practice got cancelled so now I don't have to suffer alone today." The small little asshole in front of him grinned, licking some ketchup off his finger.

"Glad to know how much you value my company." Michael said plopping a piece of Poptart in to his mouth.

"I already have to spend enough time with those nerds after school because of you. Just let me have this." Rich said narrowing his eyes. 

"You brought that on yourself." Michael said with a self-assured shrug.

Rich looked over at Jake like he expected the dude was going to defend his honor, but Jake just chuckled instead.

"Pat did say you guys were going to watch auditions together in class earlier."

Rich looked from Jake to Michael with his brows almost touching his forehead, "Well, this is a new develop. Care to enlighten me? You guys gettin' cozy or what?" He said crossing his arms over his chest.

"No. I just invited him. It's not a big deal." Michael replied trying to sound nonchalant.

"Ah, no big deal, he says! That's why you looked so happy when you got here!"

"God, fine! I'm going to draw the friendship line!" Michael snapped.

"You're going to draw the friendship line." Rich parroted back mockingly.

"Yes! I'm going to tell him that I just can't do the feelings thing with him because of… you know." Michael deflated a bit and balled up the wrapper in his hand.

"Good!" Rich said and went back to eating.

"Good?"

"Yep!" Rich smirked wiping his mouth with his hand. "We're still coming over on Saturday though regardless of how this goes. I did not clear my schedule just to have my opportunity to kick your ass taken away."

Michael threw the wrapper at Rich's head, but he swatted at it making it accidently hit Jake instead. Jake just laughed and tossed it at Rich who put his hand to his chest in feigned disbelief.

"Pat's a good guy. He'll be cool with it. You'll see." Jake told him and for some reason hearing it from someone who actually knew Pat, made him feel a little more assured.

"You want to put money on that, Dillinger?" Rich asked flirtatiously. Jake snorted and shoved rich playfully.

* * *

 Pat was already at his locker when Michael got there. The other students were weaving through the halls all eagerly trying to escape this hell hole as fast as possible. God, he wished he could be them right now. Michael took a few deep breaths as he hyped himself up. He'd decided last period that he was going to do this Band-Aid style. He was just going to rip it off and hope for he didn't get hit or something.

"Can I, uh, just say something really quick?" Michael's voice cracked a little as he came to stand directly in front of Pat. His hands were opening and closing as he fidgeted, preparing himself to say the next part. Pat's happy façade visibly faltered. He nodded cautiously at Michael. It was not pleasant thing to witness on someone who was generally enthused all the time but if anything, it assured him that he was doing the right thing.

"I really like you, Pat…" Michael trailed off trying not to fuck up the next bit.

Pat smiled sadly, "But…"

"But I can't be more than a friend. Um, it wouldn't be fair to you right now. I'd still really like it if we could be, you know, be friends…" Michael bit his lip. He couldn't look at Pat's face so his eyes fell to the scuffed up tile on the floor. "I'm sorry."

Pat was still looking at him with the same expression when he looked back up. He reached out and rubbed Michael's upper left arm carefully, "It's okay. Don't be sorry. I get it, I do. Thanks for being upfront about it... I'd still like to go with you to the auditions, if you'd be down with that?" He looked resigned but not completely unhappy. That was something, he guessed. 

Michael cleared his throat and plastered on a smile, "Yeah, I'd like that."

As they stood there, Michael took a moment to mourn the 'what could have been' had things been different. If he hadn't been so in to Jeremy for so long; if he had been able to pull an Elsa and let it go. 

* * *

 Rich and Jake were standing at the entrance to the auditorium when Michael and Pat got there. It was kind of awkward, but they made small talk about whatever came to mind just to make it less so. Michael saw Rich look at them and scowl as he slid a $5 bill in to Jake's hand. Jake just grinned at them.

Jeremy was standing off to the side of the stage with the others that were auditioning as they took a seat in the third row. He looked like he might throw up as Michael caught his eye. Jeremy's focus shifted between him and Pat. He tilted his head questioningly. Michael lifted a shoulder and smiled.

The lights went down on the house and rose on center stage where a slightly pudgy and balding teacher stood.

"Hello! Hello! Welcome to the Spring musical auditions! My name is Mr. Reyes for those who do not know me already! This year our school will be performing "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying." This is a classic and I have no doubt you all will do me proud! We will be beginning in just a few moments. Be sure you've gotten your audition numbers. I invite you to start with your 1-minute monologue followed by your prepared song. How very exciting! Break a leg, everyone!" Mr. Reyes finished with a small bow and came to sit in the center of the front row.

The auditions were across the board. The girl right before Christine forgot half her monologue and sung her song through tears. Christine was incredible, as expected. Michael didn't know a lot about theatre but if she didn't get a lead role, then clearly Mr. What's-His-face wasn't watching. Jeremy ended up being the next to last. He walked to center stage looking absolutely petrified. Michael couldn't be sure if he was actually going to pass out or whether the stage lights had made me look like he was. It wouldn't be the first time nerves had him barfing up breakfast. 

"Whenever you're ready, Number 26." Mr. Reyes announced from his chair.

Jeremy froze. His eyes darted around until they landed on Michael. Michael grinned at him and gave him an enthusiastic two thumbs up, mouthing "you got this." Michael noticed Pat looking between them out of the corner of his eye, but he just couldn't look away from his best friend. The reassurance seemed to do the trick though because not a second later, Jeremy launched in to a heartfelt monologue that hit him right in the feels or as Michael liked to call them, the things he valiantly tried to ignore at all times. He even noticed sniffling coming from his right where Rich was sitting.

When the monologue wrapped up, Jeremy nodded to whoever was up in the sound both. The opening notes to a song Michael knew all too well followed. Jeremy hadn't told him what song he was doing but the little shit had to of picked this one on purpose. He was belting "Let it Go" word for word at the top of his lungs as the song progressed. Michael was sure he'd never heard or seen anything more beautiful than Jeremy on that stage in that very moment. He was speechless. Jeremy was good. He always had been but whatever Chris had taught him, made him incredible. If Michael hadn't already been in love with Jeremy, he would have fallen during that performance. He jumped to his feet as soon as the last note faded away. He was hollering and clapping so hard that his hands stung. Everyone else in the auditorium joined in too including Rich who was yelling, "Get it, tall ass!" beside him. 

Mr. Reyes stood and hushed everyone after a minute, calling for the next person. Jeremy shot one last look at Michael and walked off to where Chris was bouncing up and down waiting for him.

After the last person finished and Mr. Reyes announced that the cast list would be posted Monday, Pat leaned over to him.

"You love him, don't you?"

Michael was still looking ahead of him at the stage that was now empty. The house lights came up and people were starting to trickle down the isles toward the exits.

Michael just sighed, "Yeah, I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun fact: The girl that I mentioned who forgot half her monologue and cried through an audition song? Yeah, that was me from my very first college audition. It was one of the more mortifying moments of my life. 
> 
> In other news, I've been very self-concious about my writing lately especially for this fandom. I almost deleted this entire story because I got so down and out. I didn't, obviously, but it was a close call. If for some reason you hate how I write or characterize, I'd appreciate it if you didn't let me know :/


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mario Kart tournament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to take the time to say thank you again to everyone who has commented recently. It really makes a difference to know you guys don't completely hate this story. I know its your run of the mill friends to lover trope but I am a sucker for those. 
> 
> This chapter is all over the place. Sorry that I keep coming back to edit it. I just couldn’t get it to feel right!

* * *

“Can I ask you something?” Christine was sitting beside him on the bed toying with the edge of her blue jean jacket. She'd gotten there way early. It was strange. They'd spent tons of time together in the past few months. It felt natural to be around her when Jeremy was there as their buffer.  Christine was funny, insightful, and quite literally brightened up whatever room she walked in. She managed to make Michael sit through an entire Disney movie marathon. It was a feet that not even Jeremy had accomplished. He could see how Jeremy became so smitten with her. Michael could admit to being a bit taken with her. She was so warm, always making you feel that things would be alright even if they weren't. Considering how shitty he'd treated her when her and Jere started dating, he should consider himself lucky to have her sitting on the bed beside him right now in the first place. 

“Michael?” Christine looked apprehensive. He'd gotten so caught up in his head, that he'd just left her hanging. 

“Sorry, I spaced out for a second there. What’s up?” Michael asked. He entertained the notion that she might blame him for fucking up her relationship.  _This is Christine, you jackass, she’d never do that_ he repeated to himself. Actually making himself believe it was another story. The thing was though that he couldn't fault her for it if she did. He was the one dumping his feelings on Jeremy out of nowhere _while_ they were still together. It's been unfair to the both of them. She had every right to be upset. 

“I was just wondering something…” She trailed off in an un-Christine like fashion. It was cause for concern in his book.

“Do you need help burying a body? I haven’t done it before, but I didn’t spend hours of my life watching the Discovery channel without learning a thing or two. It’s almost like they want you to know how to dispose of a human.” Michael rambled, succeeding in making Christine giggle.  

“I’m positive your body burying abilities would be more than sufficient, but I haven’t killed anyone. Well, I haven’t killed anyone _yet_.”

“Christine Canigula.” Michael replied setting his hand on her shoulder like a proud dad, “You are truly something else.” Christine batted his hand away with a grin. She finally relaxed some and the tension appeared to dissolve. 

“Do you like Pat?” 

“Is this some kind of trick question?” Michael asked feeling caught off guard. Somehow Pat never made it in to the line of questioning that he'd envisioned. 

“No! Of course not! I was just curious whether you were considering asking him on a date or not?” Christine said quickly before adding, “I know it’s not my business! You totally don’t have to answer that! It’s wrong of me to pry and-“ She continued on like this failing to pay any attention him as he called her name in an attempt to capture her focus. 

“Christine. Chris? Hey? Remember me? Christineeeeee.” Michael reached out to grab her shoulder again, giving her pause long enough to meet his eyes.

“You don’t have to apologize for asking me anything ever? Okay?” She smiled a little and nodded, “I don’t like Pat. Not that I don’t not like him. I just don’t want to date him.” Michael squeezed her shoulder before bringing his hand back to push his glasses back up his nose from where they'd slide down.  

“I don't know why I got so frazzled. It's just...” She stopped and nipped at her lip, “Do you think he only likes guys?”

Oh. _OH_.

“Do _you_ like Pat?” 

“No! Yes? We started partnering up in class after that day at Pinkberry. He is always telling me these super lame jokes and they're just so awful, right?” She had turned around to face him with on leg hanging off the bed and the other tucked underneath her. She gestured wildly with her hands telling him all the little things she’d noticed and liked about Pat. 

“I didn’t realize it until yesterday, but I think I have a teeny tiny little crush on him.” Michael wagged his eyebrows at her. She playfully smacked him before continuing. “He came to auditions yesterday and seeing him just sitting out there was just… was…” She proceeded to make a sound that before then Michael was sure had been humanly impossible.

“Are you going to tell him?” Michael asked chuckling. 

She smirked, seeming to think it over for a second, “Are you going to ask out Jeremy?” 

“What are you talking about? You guys just broke up! I mean, why would I ask out Jeremy? That's crazy!” Michael sputtered. It sounded completely unconvincing and weak even to him.

“Let’s review the facts.” She said tilting her head and started ticking things off on her fingers as she spoke, “One. You like Jeremy. Two. I literally just admitted to liking someone that is not Jeremy. Three. Jeremy and I are no longer dating. Four. You like Jeremy. Five. Jeremy likes you. Six. You like Jeremy.” Michael was pretty sure she added another three fingers to that list, but he stopped listening after five.

“Whoaaaaaaa. Can we rewind real quick? To the whole Jeremy liking _me_ thing?” Michael asked her putting all the emphasis on the ‘me’ part of the question. She leveled him with a sharp look. If he were a lesser man, he may have cowered in fear. Rich and Jake busted through the door followed by Pat and Jeremy; robbing him of an adequate response. Jeremy looked curiously between the both of them but didn't say anything. 

Pat, looking somewhat uncomfortable, came to sit next to Christine. 

Michael purposefully knocked in to her hopping off the bed. Her shoulder bumped in to Pat’s making her scoot over at record speed to put some space between them. Michael’s sly grin to her was met with a glare to end all glares. 

“Hey Michael.” Pat greeted him. He was unsure about coming yesterday but Michael assured him that he was welcome more than once before leaving the school. Pat raised his hand in the air, Michael smacked it with his own in a high five. They shared a smile and with no underlying meaning to the interaction, it felt good. 

Over by the TV, Rich had already claimed one of the beanbag chairs. Jake was positioning himself on the floor beside him snickering about something Rich said. Jeremy was about to plop down on the other beanbag after putting the game in. Michael beat him to it. Jeremy fell on top of him in a tangle of lanky limbs. Michael unceremoniously dumped him on the floor. Jeremy huffed, kicking at Michael’s leg before sitting with his legs crossed in front of him facing the TV. For a second Michael thought he might actually be irritated but it passed when he turned to look at Michael with an amused smirk, handing him a controller. Rich grabbed the other two controllers from next to them and stood up. 

“Alright bitches, whose up first?”  

* * *

It turned out Pat was in his element. He beasted them all more than once taking no prisoners. The awkwardness upon arrival didn't stand a chance with all the good natured shit talking. They all laughed and chatted like they’d been doing this for years. Michael liked it. He was just as vocal as everyone else too, joining in on the conversations that he'd never thought he'd be having. These people made him take note of how heavily he'd relied on Jeremy. He loved the fuck out of him but he'd also grown too codependent. Christine came in like an adorable wrecking ball and made everything better. It took him a thousand mental breakdowns to see it but see it he did. It was freeing.

“GOD DAMN IT, PAT!” Rich shouted letting the controller fall to his lap. They all saw Princess Peach pouting on the screen next to a victorious Mario. Pat was grinning at a sulking Rich. Christine and Jake were laughing at the two of them. Jeremy was observing them with a reserved smile, his arms wrapped loosely around his knees. It was quite the view. 

Michael decided now was as good a time as ever to raid the kitchen. He used Jeremy to push himself up from the floor. Rich caught the motion, whipping his head towards him.

“If you leave this room and don’t bring back food, I will sue.” Michael just snorted and opened the door. He heard Rich demanding a rematch as he shut it behind him, walking to the kitchen. His mom’s were sitting at the table looking at something on a laptop. They looked up at him lovingly when they noticed him.

“Everything okay, sweetie?”

“If by that you mean, Rich threatened to sue us if he didn’t get food, then yes, everything is peachy.” His mom, Sue, chuckled. 

“There’s an extra pack of Oreos up there just for him.” His mom said pointing towards one of the cabinets. Michael grabbed the cookies along with a bag of Doritos. Whenever Rich wasn’t with Jake, he was usually hanging around there. Michael's parents had all but adopted him as one of their own. The only big dispute that'd transpired since then had been over a pack of double stuffs. Rich couldn't have known that he was playing with fire when he devoured them all in one sitting before his mom got any. She now makes sure to buy extra just in case Rich comes over. Jeremy was understandably jealous at first but after Rich opened up to them once about his less than okay home life, Jeremy left off. Since then they’d formed their own friendship built on insults and the occasional fist bump.

Michael reached in the fridge and grabbed the ketchup grimacing. He knew those beautiful Oreos were going to be subjected to unimaginable horror at the hands of Rich Goranski but he put the bottle with the rest of his haul anyway.

“Hey Mrs. M, Mrs. M” Jeremy greeted the women at the table strutting in to the kitchen. 

“Jeremy, you’ve half lived here for years. You can drop the Mrs. M business anytime.” His mom replied. 

Jeremy shrugged bashfully, “Sorry, Sue.” He nodded towards Michael’s other mom, “Reyna.” Jeremy still thought they'd be upset with him after everything. It was a legitimate concern but even if things hadn’t worked themselves out, his mom’s would have welcomed Jeremy with open arms. They were just as there for him as Michael was after Jeremy's mom left. He’d have a place at their table no matter what.  

Jeremy ventured over to where Michael was standing and appraised the growing pile of food approvingly, “Thought you might need an extra set of hands.” 

“You thought correctly, amigo!” 

“Boys, will you be alright if we sneak out for a while?” His mom asked, closing the laptop and looking to the both of them “We have some errands to run before it gets too late.”

“I’m sure I can keep him in line for you, Reyna.” Jeremy said side eyeing Michael with a grin.

"I have no doubts about that!" She chuckled, walking over followed by his other mom. They pulled them both in to prolonged group hug. The feels were being felt on overdrive in the Mell house today. With a kiss on each of their heads, they left, promising to not get back too late.

Michael grabbed a couple of two-liters from the closet and motioned for Jeremy to put those extra hands to work. Jeremy, however, just stood there staring at him with an unreadable expression, worrying his bottom lip, like he wanted to say something. Michael’s eyes darted around the room, he turned his head behind him to be sure he wasn’t about to be murdered or something. 

“Uh, Jere? You good, buddy?”   

Jeremy came out of whatever stupor he was in shaking his head, “Yep!” He picked up food and made his way out of the kitchen. If Jeremy wanted to be confusing then he was nailing it. 

The folks back in his room were talking over one another when Michael dropped his armload of crap in to the pile Jeremy had made on the floor. 

“The point is that it’s called Mario Kart. It has the little bastard’s name in the title. Of course, he is gonna win every time!” Rich argued now eyeing the stack of goodies on the floor. 

Christine threw her hands up, “He beat you with Luigi too. We all saw it!” 

“Luigi is his brother.” Rich replied.

“And that has to do with...?”

Pat and Jake were both amused glacing at each other as the other two went at it.

“He gets the family hookup, Chris! The system is rigged!” Rich said with finality kneeling beside the holy grail of junk food.

“Mike! You remembered the ketchup!” He picked up the cookies and turned towards Jake with a smirk, “Better step your game up. Mike knows the way to a man’s heart.” Jake, not wanting to waste anytime apparently, grabbed Rich's head with both hands and planted a heated kiss on his lips, leaving Rich dazed when he pulled away.

Taking advantage of the situation, Jake snatched the Oreos from Rich’s grasp, opening up the pack, “I like my chances.” He said smugly, popping an Oreo in to his mouth. Rich waited long enough for Jake to swallow to grab him, smushing the cookies between them. What followed was prolonged game of tonsil hockey.

Michael cleared his throat, looking away from the scene in front of him. He watched Christine and Pat for a few minutes noticing that they were stealing glances at one another when they thought the other wasn’t looking. He didn’t know for sure, but he’d say Christine’s chances were looking pretty good. 

Jeremy's eyes were downcast, but his cheeks were so red they looked sunburnt. Michael put one of the two-liters in front of him startling Jeremy in to looking up. Michael stuck his tongue out and put a finger to his mouth to mimic gagging in reference to the make out session happening beside them. Jeremy just smiled weakly, turning his attention to opening the bottle in front of him. 

* * *

 

By the time everyone left, it was almost 11pm. His mom’s had gotten home around 10ish and that seemed to be the universal sign to call it a night. Michael pretended he hadn't seen the pointed look Christine gave him as she left.  

Jeremy wasted no time changing in to pjs and cuddling up under the blanket on the bed. He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk so Michael didn’t bother. Instead he got in bed thinking about his conversation with Christine.

Did Jeremy still like him? How could she be sure? The last time they talked about feelings like this, Jeremy himself wasn't sure. Did Christine talk to him about it? Is that how she knows? He wasn't positive that he should go back down that road. He wanted to, oh god did he want to, but was it the right thing to do? Jeremy's friendship meant everything and he didn't want to lose it again. Especially not after the big fucking mess they made before but...  _Fuck it_ he thought. You have to risk it to get the biscuit, right? 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short and dialogue driven chapter in comparison to most of the others. I hope you guys like it a little bit anyway. 
> 
> I want to thank you all for sticking with me and my terribly inconsistent posting schedule! I'm especially grateful for all of your kind words <3

“Do you think other worlds exist?” Michael asked tracing a crack that ran alongside the ceiling fan with his eyes before flitting them over to Rich. It was a habit he picked up as a kid. He'd made up thousands of stories around it whenever he was unable to sleep. The thought that maybe his ceiling might cave in crossed his mind once or twice but imagining different dimensions took precedent. 

“Definitely. You ever listen to Hozier? Dude has other worldy written all over him. If he’s not a wood nymph or some shit then I’m the fucking president.” Rich said looking up from his Geometry book. He was on his stomach beside him attempting the homework that Michael had yet to start.

Michael hummed thoughtfully and looked back up, “Jeremy likes Hozier.”

“Oh, for fucks sake!” Rich said slamming his book shut and sitting up. “Just fucking do it, bro.”

Michael propped himself up on his elbows and turned his head, narrowing his eyes at Rich, “Do what?”

“Let him take a ride on your disco stick, see a movie, fuck! I don’t know! Just do something!”

Michael groaned. He rolled off the bed and proceeded to pace from one side of his room to the other. Rich left his discarded Geometry book where it was and moved to the edge of the bed where he looked all the part of a caring father in the middle of scolding their child.

He paused in front of Rich, closing his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “We see movies together all the time.”

“I hate to break it to ya, but if he isn’t giving you a handy in the back row then it’s not a date.” Rich said in a matter of fact tone, looking at him with his eyebrows raised when Michael finally cracked his eyes back open. 

They'd had this conversation about fifty different times since last Saturday. This was the first time Rich seemed frustrated about it though. He guessed he’d be annoyed too if their positions were reversed. It’s just that Michael was scared, okay? Him and Jeremy had been kind of flirting the past week. He’s not a scientist but 9 out of 10 of them would probably agree that what they were doing was flirting. He’d caught Jeremy looking at him more than once. His hand seemed to linger just a little longer than usual whenever he handed Michael a controller. He blushed at the drop of a hat, which, in his defense, was something he did often, but Jeremy’s cheeks seemed to be permanently painted red lately. It was like some weird sort of geek ass mating dance. That or Michael was being fucking stupid. That was more likely. 

Chris had even given him a talking to the other day about making the first move. _"Do you really think Jeremy would have taken me out if i hadn't given him a little nudge?"_ Jeremy was petrified of asking her out. He spent years pining over her! If she wasn't the one who asked him what his plans were one weekend, they probably would have never dated. Chris and Rich were both right and Michael knew it. 

He sat back down on the bed and sighed, “I’d like to get to a third date before any dick holding goes down, I think.” 

“Mike. My buddy. My guy. My brostest with the mostest. The coolest fucking dude around next to Jakey D. Anyone with at least one eyeball can see that our little Jeremy digs you, man. Just do it.” Rich told him with lopsided grin.

Michael snorted at the “little” part since Jeremy towers over Rich like the Eiffel fucking Tower. He scooted until his back hit the head board. 

Rich turned to sit with his legs crossed facing him, “Story time!

Michael let his head fall back with a thud, “Spare me the ‘Once Upon a Time’ shit, please. I got enough of that growing up.”

“I bet Sue would just lovvvvvvvvvve to hear that!” Rich replied causing Michael’s head to shoot forward. “Our Oreo struggles are a thing of the past, Mike. You and I both know I'm her favorite.” Rich said smugly examine his nails. 

With a snort, Michael let his head fall back again, “Go on then, charm me with your story telling wiles.” 

“I told you about how Jake and I got together, right?”

“You macked him during one of his breaks with Chloe." 

“Yeah but there was more to it.” Rich paused for a second. “My dad had gotten really bad one night. It was right after my brother left for college, so it was just me and him. I’m usually pretty good about going stealth mode but for some stupid fucking reason, I was feeling a little spiteful. I decided to pour out the only bottle of liquor in the house.” Rich’s voice wavered a bit. Michael sat up giving him his full attention. Rich had his eyes cast down. Talking was something they did frequently. However, it only got this serious a few times. He had a decent understanding of what Rich went through but he never gave any specific details. Michael wasn’t sure if maybe he should reach out or offer some kind of support. So instead, he just sat there with his hands in his lap and waited for Rich to continue.

“I left the bottle out on the counter like a dumbass which is where he found it. Long story short, the bottle got shattered, some punches got thrown, and the night fucking sucked. I threw some stuff in a bag and left. I didn’t go anywhere with a purpose but I ended up in front of Jake’s house before long.

“He wasn’t home, but I went in anyway. I crashed on the couch for, fuck, I don't know how long. I just know that when I woke up, it was still dark and Jake was holding me.” Rich stopped there, smiling softly to himself before continuing.

“He wanted to know why I hadn’t called him. This wasn’t the first time some shit like this went down, but it was the first time it happened while Jake was out with Chloe. I wasn’t trying to mess that up for him, ya know? He said he’d have blown her off in a heartbeat to help me, which is kind of shitty for her, I guess. I probably should have cared more about that but, dude, that night was the night that I knew he was it for me. We weren’t together yet, but I couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else.” Rich took a breath and looked up at Michael. 

“They broke up the next day. That was all the invitation I needed. The minute he told me, I just leaned in and made the best decision of my life.”

For all his talk about not feeling any feels, Michael was on the verge of full on bawling. Having a social life, talking about things, it was all wrecking havoc on his ability to push away emotions. He'd be lying if he said he weren't happy about it. To Rich, the sun shined straight out of Jake Dillinger's ass and now Michael really understood why. Jake always seemed like a good dude but he had a whole new respect for him. 

A tear threatened to slip out with Michael trying to wipe it away discreetly, "I am so sorry that you had to go through that."

“It’s all good. Things are better. My dad's cut back a lot, but I got Jake... and your dumbass now.” Rich said with a shaky chuckle, “Hell, even Chris managed to worm her way in to the ole Richster’s heart.” He beat his fist a couple of times over his heart with a smile. 

“The point I was trying to make is that you can’t sit around on your ass and wait for him. Just grab a bull and fuck it.”

“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes…” Michael said trailing off when Rich scootched forward, grabbing both of his shoulders.

“I said, grab a bull and Fuck. It.” Rich’s expression was so serious. Michael tried hard not to laugh, he really did but he lost it, laughing so hard he thought he was going to piss himself. Maybe it was the emotionally charged conversation that made it so funny, he didn't know. After a second, Rich joined too. They got fuck all homework done but whatever, a zero was fine. Michael finally got the kick in the ass he needed to take some initiative. 

* * *

 

He spent hours meticulously setting up his plan of action. It took all night and 65 text messages to Rich but the plan was locked down. Sleep was inconsequential anyway at the moment, he could do that shit when he was dead. He spent some extra time getting ready that morning, he wrestled with a comb in an attempt to make his hair artfully messy. He even forwent his normal hoodie for a baseball-t from the back of his closet. 

Jeremy looked surprised when he picked him up but told him it was he looked good. The plan was off to a great start, if you asked Michael. Jeremy split from him when they got to school to turn in some project. Everyone else had congregated by the lockers. Pat was talking to Jake with an arm firmly clasped around Christine, the latter of whom ran over to hug him. She complimented the shirt and did her all-knowing wink routine like she knew the secrets to the universe. Five guesses as to who told her about the plan. Michael would have eventually anyway, Rich just beat him to it. Pat gave him a friendly nod of acknowledgement and continued his conversation with Jake. Rich landed a slap on his back and told him to "fuck it" as the bell rang. Michael watched them head off, taking a second to reflect on how that one night at GameStop seemed to be a positive turning point in his life. It wasn’t the first time he was grateful for it and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last. 

The day flew by with him doing a crappy impersonation of someone trying desperately to act cool. He actually managed fairly well until he muffed up the lighting on three different scenes at play rehearsal. By the time he took the last turn on to Jeremy’s road, his stomach was churning and his hands felt slippery trying to grip the wheel. Jeremy was giving him concerned glances but Michael studiously ignored them up until he was putting the car in park and cutting the engine.

“Mind if I walk you up?” Michael asked chancing a peek over at Jeremy. The confusion there was apparent but he'd decided he was going to play dumb until the very last second. 

“Sure?” Jeremy asked, his brows furrowing. He knew he was acting weird. Thinking back on it, Michael had never really walked Jeremy up to the door. Thankfully, Jere didn't seem too put off by the strange request because there was still a small smile there. Michael nodded, getting out, and waiting for Jeremy. The two-walked side by side with Michael counting each step towards the door. They both paused in front of it with Jeremy turning to Michael. 

“Soooo, are you coming in?”

This was it. The big one. The final battle. The time to fuck the chicken, or bull, or what the fuck ever. It felt like some injected a 5-hour energy shot directly in to that blood pumping organ under his rib cage. Michael froze staring back, willing himself to just ask the one question he’d been preparing to all day.

“Michael?” Jeremy ducked his head closer.

“Wanna go to the movies this weekend?” The words tumbled out of his mouth in a rush. 

Jeremy looked taken back as though that wasn’t at all what he was expecting, “Okay, was there something specific you wanted to see?”

“Um, uh, no, that’s not what I mean. “Michael shook his head. Every inch of his body was screaming ABORT MISSION at the top of its lungs, but he was determined damn it! 

“There’s not… a movie that you want to see?” Jeremy tentatively asked

“I just want to see a movie with… you.” Michael felt the back of his neck heating up. He rubbed at it with his hand, “You know, together, like a…” He averted his eyes and allowed himself one last second of panic before trying to get himself together. Things had been going, a bit bumpy, but they were going. He wasn't going to bitch out now. He forced his focus back up to Jeremy. He was gazing at Michael and biting at his lip. So, Michael did the only thing that he could without having to keep talking and potentially make this situation five times more awkward. He leaned in, going slowly, giving Jeremy plenty of time to pull back if he was uncomfortable. Jeremy didn't. In fact, he started leaning in too, never breaking their eye contact. It felt like a century had passed before Michael felt their lips finally connect. It was little more than a peck lasting a grand total of 5 seconds, but it was everything.

Michael pulled back. He couldn't formulate a word to describe what he was feeling but it was good. It was great. It was better than anything he'd ever felt before. Jeremy's face was beet red but he otherwise looked exactly how Michael felt. 

“Date.” Michael said breaking the moment, “Like a date.”

“Like a date.” Jeremy replied, his eyes darting down to Michael's lips. That was all it took for his body to move of his its own accord, leaning back in towards Jeremy. Too caught up in one another, Michael missed the sound of a car door slam. It was the clearing of someone's throat that made the two fly apart. 

Jeremy's dad was standing there with a smirk looking between them curiously, "You boys going to stand there all day?"

They both stared at him, unsure of what to say. If he saw them kiss, he certainly didn't seem mad about it. Michael wasn't sure he wanted to unpack that right now when they we're just now figuring themselves out. 

"We were just -" Jeremy started to say but didn't seem sure of where to go with it. 

"Leaving! I was just leaving." Michael said looking at Jeremy's dad then back to him.

"You are?!" Jeremy went wide-eyed seeming both worried and relieved at the same time. 

"Yeah but I'll text you as soon as I get home, okay?" Michael inclined his head in farewell type motion towards Mr. Heere. The likes of whom seemed to be chuckling to himself as he returned the gesture. 

Michael fished his keys out of his pockets but decided one last look couldn't hurt before he got in. 

Jeremy had been in the same spot but took a few steps forward when he noticed Michael focus had shifted back to him. With his voice slightly raised, Jeremy asked, "Promise?" 

Michael made a show of finger gunning at Jeremy and mouthing back, "Promise!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story that Rich tells Jeremy is based on a similar incident that I went through with my own dad. It was never physical but I lived with a very emotionally abusive alcoholic father up until I moved out when I turned 18. I can not speak for how everyone else handles this but Rich chooses humor as a coping mechanism much in the same way I do. I sort of projected myself on a few characters in that I can't handle feelings at all and I laugh off everything that hurts. So, they may not be entirely cannon compliant but they are written in a way that felt right to me for this particular story. 
> 
> I wanted the focus to be on the relationship between Michael and Jeremy. This led to the minor characters not being as fleshed out as they could have been. I just wanted to apologize for that. I'm just an exhausted college student, forgive me? <3  
> ——————-  
> 10/24/18: Okay. So, here’s what’s up. I’m probably not going to put up a final chapter. There’s some stuff I wanted to elaborate on with Rich and Christine along with The Date but, I don’t think I can. For my own mental health, I can’t find it in myself to finish this fic. The BMC fandom tends to be extremely critical of all fan created content and not in the most constructive ways. (Not all of you obviously because there wouldn’t have been 12 chapters of this without your encouragement, if I’m being honest.) It’s just a stressful fandom environment that I’ve had to completely pull myself back from because I, personally, can’t handle it. I’m paranoid that anything I do with these characters is the wrong thing and that takes the fun out of writing them for me. 
> 
> I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to read my little fic. I’m not confident in my work but, it’s been so nice seeing that you guys have enjoyed it! There’s always a chance that I might finish up that final chapter and post. The odds, as of right now, are pretty low though. I’m sorry for letting you down. 
> 
> Thank you all again. I can’t tell you what your kind comments and kudos have meant to me. <3


End file.
